dis-heartened.

i had to go and see my heart consultant today,11am.i was there at 10.35,finally went in to see him at 11.45.running late as usual.nice man,made me feel at ease...........before clobbering me with the news that he had reviewed the pictures of the recent angio i had,and that there are 2 arteries that need attention,more than the tablets i am on will cure,which is why i am still getting angina when i do too much.( not that i do before you write lucy,lol.i hear your keyboard tapping as i write this,x)also,and more worrying,i take an ant-acid for hiatus hernia,and because i am on aspirin and heart meds.i have to change it.quick.apparently it has been proven to cause clots in stents fitted.oh gee,thanks doc.gets better lol. anyway,he said,look,i think you need to have this sorted,do you want to go ahead?well,duhhhhhh,lol.of course.if it will stop the pain and discomfort,if it will stop another heart attack,then yes.he has said it should be about 6 weeks,so fingers crossed. mum took the news suspiciously calmly,i am not sure she actually understands.i now have to sort carers out to look after her,i shall only be in hospital for a day.at least i presume so,full details will be sent to me,and i have to have a pre-op assessment first.hope everyone is ok,thanks for messages,thanks lucy for being there,thanks carol for the lap dance lol.( she didddddd,shame was a facebook application lol) and guido for being a good and kind person.take care all,i shall post some pics when i download them soon,enjoy this lovely weather.mort

garden pics june 2009

the clematis is soon over.2 weeks of glorious colour,then leaves lol

philadelphus virginata,smells gorgeous.honeysuckle is self sown.

new colour in double petunia.in hanging basket

nicw fuschia,kept from last year which cost all of 50p.lol

petunias.these are lovely this year

baskets are looking good.fed every week,watered every day.

we get dozens of seagulls.took this after 15 shots of the bloody hedge,lol.they fast

new duck this year,donald n his mate are still here every day.shame because i thought they had stopped and cleaned the fish pond out 3 weeks ago.wrong.

clematis 'nelly moser' is years old.i bought it from the old house 17 years ago.

the new arch is quickly becoming covered

hardy geranium

peony 'pink sorbet' this is the only one thats flowered out of 3 plants

oriental poppies

my old peony.lovely colour.hope you enjoyed them.

THANKYOU ALL FOR THE LOVELY COMMENTS.i shan't be deleting this blog.too much work and a few tears went into it.won't be posting very often,and i can't still comment on many blogs i read,but i shall be about.just got too much to keep posting.the MS is playing up bad,for last 3 nights i have been woken by jerking in legs and arms,swallowing is bad,and pain is bloody awful. had the MRI scan on back,will get results within 2 weeks.take care all.mort.

last post?

THANKS TO NAT,London Calling

THANKS TO LUCY,MY SECOND MOM,What is left of a whole new life
thanks to nat and lucy.2 more awards.im sorry but they are likely to be the last this blog ever gets.this is the end of my blogging,i can no longer carry on.its been more of a chore than a pleasure for some time,the MS seems to have made me unable to concentrate.i just dont feel up to carrying on with this any more.normally i would have written about mums visit to the chiropodists,remember her gout?cleared up.but 2 weeks ago she had an appointment to see the chiropodist,a new man we had never had before,first he kept us waiting 20 minutes over our time then.................he cut mums bad toe.pratt.she came out with a bandage on it as though it was a finger puppet.luckily it cleared up.im having an MRI scan tomorrow at 7.50am on back,finally.so early start.many more things i would normally share.but i cant seem to get myself motivated.sorry for not commenting on many blogs,still have problems with a loop that appears when i try.

so why?i used to enjoy my journal,when jland died i said it didnt matter,that WE are jland,that it wouldnt make any difference.i was wrong. many of the old aol jland journal writers moved to blogspot,and many have left.maybe facebook,tagged,my space.etc.some on twitter,more just let their blogs fade away.fed up with it.jeannette,jan rarely posts now,yasmin,pamal,all gone.and now im doing the same.thanks to lucy for worrying about me,we shall keep in touch,thanks to all my followers,thanks to anon, for being a class A,grade one ass wipe.you made my year lol.i may leave this here,i may delete.in the future i may start again.the MS is getting worse,not really bad,but enough.and mum,well she is happy,contented,in pain but cared for.and on that note,for the last time,TAKE CARE ALL.THANKS,MORTON.its a pleasure to know you all,see you on facebook.and pictures will be added to my profile on face when i download some more,so please look for them.goodbye.

new camera pics.at last.lol

dicentra spectabilis,alba.

tomatoes only just gone into growbags,bought them as plugplants an inch high

some of this years baskets,starting to really look nice

the new boarder under mums bedroom window,was full of nerines.spread everywhere.birds keep pulling the bark mulch into path lol

the other new boarder under lounge window.was full of day lillies,like the nerines had spread,and really are just leaves for most of year.again the bark mulch is getting moved.

that clematis montana,growing up and along the front of sunner house,also goes along the side,over 15 foot of growth in one year.

my rhododendrun,i love this.one of my favourite flowers.i have to grow it in a pot as i dont have acid soil in the garden.

the 2 go together well.see what i mean about that clematis?

i love my new camera,fuji finepix,10 megapixel,and it has a view finder as well as back screen,if,like me,you are used to using a 35mm SLR film camera,to be able to use the view finder,see what you are taking is great.the last 2 were taken using the macro close up,with the telephoto lens it makes a really good camera,comfortable to hold and use.it LOOKS like a camera.lol.hope you enjoyed a few of this years flowers,lucy by the sound of it you will beat me on the tomatoes this year if yours is coming into flower.just hope mine taste better than last year.should do,using gardeners delight.enjoy your gardens,take care all.

no anon.now nina needs new friends.

Well.thankyou all for the lovely comments.lol.i almost felt sorry for ANON.lol.who i am so glad to say has been quiet.the reason i had such a go is simple.to me,his/her/its kind are bullies.they try to upset journal writers because they are jealous,so they lash out.like a bully.like bullies they are cowards.they hide behind anon,jolene,whatever,because they attack who they think are weak,or won't fight back.i was bullied at school.for nearly eleven years my life was made hell by bullies.because i didn't like sports,i was quiet,i didn't have that many friends,i was a target of bullying.especially at my grammar school,i passed the old eleven plus at the second attempt,and i was out of my depth.i hated it.so i was bullied,kicked,punched,and i took it.too scared to fight back.until one day.........the chief instigator of my torment was a nasty little git called david.big,heavy set,with his 2 mates they preyed on us weaker lads.this particular day i had just got new glasses,mum and dad weren't well off,in fact far from it.and david had hit me in the face and broken them,the frame bent.and i snapped.i kicked seven bells of hell out of him,so hard in the crotch he was sick,smacked one of his mates nose so hard blood flew everywhere,and had the other by the throat when a teacher dragged me off.meany.lol.3 weeks detention for that lake.yes sir.oh,and lake. yes sir??about time you stood up for yourself.sly wink.that was the turning point.i would never allow myself to be bullied,or to stand by and watch others bullied again.so be warned anon.i now know how to find out who you are,i will press blogger to ban you,i will also do my utmost best to stop your nasty snide,spiteful comments on any of my friends.have a nice day now.
now,my good friend nina,who is to blame for me starting this journal all that time ago,has started blogging again,she used to write a journal on jland called overtaken by snails,life in the slow lane,and she made my day when she posted.then due to poorly health,and the sad demise of AOL journals she stopped it.now,SHE IS BACK.please will you visit and say hi.her blog is called Ninas Ramblings: more ramblings !!! and is well worth a look.like me she has an elderly mum.but i think i will let her tell her story herself.lol.also,i think many of my readers do know her but my good friend jane deserves to be read.she suffers from terminal kidney cancer,lately thanks to the drug sutent,she has made a remarkable fight back.her blog is one of hope to all who suffer from this most evil of diseases.A journey of another kind....: Jane's Story.....is the last entry,she has had a programme made of her fight with our NHS to fund sutent.and of her sheer guts and determination to fight back against the cancer.frankly she always has me in awe.jane , love.you bloody rock girl.please.go visit her journal,its far from doom and gloom.bloody cruises,tv programmes,still not got my autograph,mutter.lol.i was going to add pics,but having trouble adding them and really dont want to lose this entry.will do another in a while.take care all.

comments anon.

on my last post,where i thanked herrad and lucy for the inspirational blogger award they had both given me,ANON wrote the following comment:- you still live at home with your mother?you poor fat fuck. no wonder this stupid "honor" means so much to you.
it also left another longer rambling comment about how it had been a week and a half since i last posted how "retched" i am. let me see if i can clear a few thing up for anon.firstly.if you can read the big words i use,it clearly states on my profile i am a 24/7 carer for my elderly,frail.infirm mother.SO YES,I LIVE AT HOME.HOW ELSE CAN I GIVE 24/7 CARE??? as for why i still live at home.well i made my choice years ago anon,i take it you don't love your mother?or she don't love you?shame that.fat?hmmm do you know me personally anon i wonder?yeah,guilty.i have put weight on.MS does that,and arthritis,i'm no longer able to exercise like i should or would like."no wonder this stupid "honor" means so much to you". now,if you had read it properly,one finger underlining as you read each word like you were taught by the special needs teacher,nowhere do i actually call it an honor.(spelling really not your strong point if the word is over 4 letters is it anon?) i thanked herrad and lucy for thinking enough of my blog to award it to me.hope that clears that up?now why i wonder has ANON suddenly decided to vent his bile on my blog.my good friend beth had her own troll,jolene,who had left a spiteful comment on a post she had done,and i made comment about what a nasty spiteful troll jolene was.then,dear anon had a go at me.coincidence?who knows?are they the same "person"(being polite)?who cares.ANON,like the rest of your kind,you are a coward,a foul mouth,obviously jealous that someone thinks enough of my writing to give me an award.but why?is it possible dear anon that you write a blog?of such awful drivel that nobody in their right mind would ever give you an award,or,worse still,comment.or follow.or read.is that it anon?you jealous?envious?perhaps you don't have any friends?no family?alone and unloved?hope so.you want to leave spiteful,foul mouthed comments,go ahead,be my guest.know what?when i read the comments you left,it gave me the best laugh i have had in ages.however,if you continue to use four letter words,i shall track you down,and get you banned.now,like the piece of dog dirt you are i shall wipe you off my shoe and carry on with the post.
Sorry i haven't been leaving comments on many blogs.i appear to have a problem.on many blogs written via hotmail or internet explorer,when i try to comment,bloody explorer slowly opens,my PC freezes,and i usually crash.whether this is to do with aol,i'm not sure,but it drives me mad.lol.so,until i can get it sorted i may not be leaving comments.i am reading though.
i sit here looking at a blank wall,with several screw holes in.where the cupboard/shelving unit used to be above my computer desk.that is until today.i have been to wells,small seaside town near me,just for an hour,as i drove in my yard my mobile went off.mum.theres been an accident she said.when i walked in,i found the cupboard was resting on my monitor,the length of 3 by 2 under it was nearly off the wall,the wall plugs had failed,the unit had fallen forward,coming to rest as i say on the top edge of the monitor,all the books,files,etc.were all over the floor,what a mess.just lucky i wasn't sitting at my desk or i doubt i would be posting this.badly overloaded.the cupboard weighs a good 30 to 40 pounds,loads of books,must be at least another 40.but i have never known plastic wall plugs to fail so drastically.been up over 6 years so its not as if it is newly put up,i haven't added any more weight these last few days. just glad i decided to go out lol.anyway,i await the inevitable bile and insults from anon,feel free if it makes your miserable nasty life a little bit nicer. oh.i just looked back,it left a comment on april blues posting too.busy little anon.lmao.really is a pathetic creature.
did promise pictures.yes the new camera is working ok,been waiting for a memory card to arrive,as it only holds 10 pics in internal memory.will post soon.take care all my lovely friends.anon?gissa kiss.mwaaahhhhhh

thanks to herrad and lucy

thankyou herrad for this award, and also lucy,who has choosen me as one of her 5. now i am supposed to pick 5 blogs,pass it on,etc. well,i'm not. because i cant pick just 5.so,every reader of my blog,feel free to snag.if i read your blog,it is because i enjoy your writing,yes i have favourites,jane,indigo,lucy,jeannette,jan,yasmin et al.but i am not going to say,these 5 are better than those,this blog deserves this award,that one doesnt.because anyone who sits down and writes a journal,deserves an award for sheer courage.it is scary to have to fill that empty page.

many thanks for all the positive comments and emails about my last entry.needed getting off my chest.got a new camera,so as soon as i work out how to use it i will post some pics of the garden,which is growing away,i had to dig up a boarder of day lillies last week,they had taken over.new plants now make the boarder look halfway cared for.take care all.