Friday, 15 February 2013

the Demen within

Dementia.such a nasty word. people get dementia,go gaga.thats the simplified view of most people.they send "funny"jokes about having know,ive got alzheimers,but at least i dont have alzheimers.hilarious.anyone of my friends on facebook who posts a joke like that mocking dementia,well,you will be an ex friend in 0.2 seconds flat.BECAUSE IT ISN'T BLOODY FUNNY,not one tiny little bit.ask anyone with it,how demeaning it is to forget what you want to say,to forget the names of simple everyday forget what you had to eat for lunch,to not knowing what foods you like.who people are.THAT IS DEMENTIA,.is that funny??no.and my mum has the damn hideous lurks inside,popping up any time.when tumble driers become "the bin",when the TV remote control can be used to try and make a phone call,and get angry when she cant get through.or use the phone to change channels.when meals are often new and surprising,as we have never had this before.when the this in question is an old favourite i have been making years.THAT IS that funny?? is sad.horrible.both for her to endure,and for me to have to see.i am not going into too many details.i was going to write more,but as i am writing this i find i can't see the  screen.because i am mum is 92.a great age.but sometimes she is like a young child.she can be very aggressive,rude,quite unpleasant.THAT IS DEMENTIA.and she gets i am getting worse with the bloody MS.she becomes more and more dependant on me.i know one day there may come a time i cannot care for her because i need help myself.mum does not understand just how tired and ill i feel sometimes.she does try.and,inside,she trys so hard to make herself understood,to remember that name she has known all her life.that taste,that place name.
Yes there are drugs that can help.mum has tried one. made her so sick every time she took a tablet.but she tried.i stopped i said to Dr.M,it is not fair to put her through all the sickness,and there is no certainty the drugs will help.i feel so helpless.every day my mum is slowly being taken away from me.THAT IS DEMENTIA. MAY WHATEVER GOD YOU BELIEVE IN HAVE MERCY ON THOSE SUFFERING WITH IT.and if you have someone in your life with Alzheimers or dementia of any kind,you have my utmost sympathy.
Hope everyone of you has got through this awful winter unscathed,keep warm and well,spring will come all,mort xxxxx