I can barely write these words. the shame of it.but the time has come for me to admit to you all my shameful secret. I AM AN ADDICT. it started so innocently,a friend got me into it,at first i wasn't really interested,then slowly,before i realised it i was hooked. now,here i sit twitching from withdrawal symptoms. how low have i become? so what is it i hear you ask? cocaine? heroin?? crack?? the demon drink? maybe pot or ecstacy? no far,far worse. i morton lake have become an addict of facebook. and to be more precise owned on facebook. hangs head in shame. lol now i know a lot has been written about facebook,and other social networking sites,and yes there are a lot of rubbish on there, but i have got hooked on owned, basically you buy "friends "photos and earn "lunchmoney" for doing so. think stocks and shares with a touch of poker thrown in. the secret is to know when to stop buying them back lol. and before anyone says anything i know a lot of jland already are on facebook,and its sister site my yearbook. i got 3 as friends. any one else reading this happens to be members,add me lol. so there you have it my shameful secret is out.
actually the break from writng this journal has done me and you lol a lot of good,i was finding it hard to write entries,writers block.lol. hopefully i am back for good. but if i am away for any length of time, at least now you know where i am lol. wonder if that pic sold i just bo.......... oops sorry .ahem
now, whats been happening? mum has had a lot of pain with the arthritis,and as i said getting very forgetful,but at the moment seems pretty much ok. got chiropodists tomorrow,so hopefully her feet will be easier for her afterwards. my MS? ah,now that im afraid is not so good. i had a fall last week which has left me feeling very sore. i was in the garden,just planted a hardy fuschia out that had been in a pot all summer,trod it in, came over dizzy,went backwards so i automatically stepped back and..................fell straight over the bloody water feature behind me. went down with a crash too. that hurt. swallowing bad at the moment,speech a bit slurred,legs hurt,ankle is still swollen although the anti inflammatories do help. still going though lol.
i finally had an answer about the carers grant i had applied for. 2 social workers came last week to see mum an me. ( im pretty sure they travel as pairs for moral support lol ) my assessment officer is a new lady as the one i saw last year is away on maternity leave, and she was quick to tell me of course i am entitled to a carers grant. they rang me the week before to make an appointment to come and see us. the other lady is mums new social worker.she came to assess mums needs. although quite what she thought had altered i am not sure? and i did notice that she is the 4th i have seen in a short space of time. fast turnover in that job. i do feel sorry for them actually. it must be a hopeless task for them sometimes.
to cut a long story short,i am going to get a carers grant to enable me to go out one day a week,using bus and train driving long distances is painful for me, and i decided on days out,rather than going away because i dont think mum is too good at me being away from her for any length of time,so i thought,a day out,once a week will get her used to me being away and maybe next year i can get away for a week or so. her social worker is arranging for a carer to come in to give her a sandwich and cup of tea for lunch,also crossroads carers will come for 3 hours in the afternoon to sit with her, this arrangement will be ongoing, i am just waiting for the cheque,and confirmation when this can start. to be able just to get to Norwich for the day,look round the castle museum,cathedral etc. that will do for me for now. and wont be too stressful for mum either. she knows i will be home around 5ish and seems ok with the idea.
tracey has been on holiday for the last 2 weeks,so we have been getting up a bit later,she is back with us friday,i didnt want another carer in her place,as before when tracey had a holiday her firm wanted mum to keep having different carers in each day, they always seem to be short staffed so we said dont bother.
the flowers in the pots and baskets have all been dumped,and i have winter flowering pansies in them in their place. £3 for 20 at tescos,not a bad price,but the weather turned warm just after i put them in (at last lol ) and they aren't doing all that well. i will post pics later. as for the tomatoes they are pulled up and dumped. i can safely say they were the worse i have ever grown tasteless,tough,not very nice at all.
So,there we are. i think i shall be with you again as normal,but i dont promise to read quite as many journals as i was doing. what with facebook,and poker,( i am playing a lot more than i did,and have joined a private league on AOL games,anyone interested in good poker,free to join and of course play,i cant afford to play for cash lol,with prizes that can be won for no fee,lovely people to play with,get in touch and i will mail details.) jland sometimes gets slightly ignored by me. but i do read your journals. i am always here if anyone wants me, i do still care about you all. thanks for all your kind mails and comments,take care all.