2 years on.we progress

CARING AND SHARING WAS 2 YEARS OLD ON 21ST OF OCTOBER. and i forgot,lol.says a lot i think.what started out as a journal about me caring for mum has turned into a journal about my health problems.but then that is what life is about.change. a year ago jland finished,and many gave up blogging.i nearly did myself.but sometimes its good to put your thoughts down.clears the mind.

Yesterday i went and saw Linda my MS nurse.she has had a move to Cromer,seaside town on the coast.17 miles from me.it has been so warm these past few days it was lovely to drive along with the window down.late october and temperatures nearly reaching 20c.i found her new place,a very nice rehabilitation and convalescent home.lindas even got a decent sized office,which she has soon filled lol.i explained i had been getting a lot of pain from the MS,optic neuritis and neck pains.we had a long talk,and said that basically there is nothing much they can do for me.my MS can now be called secondary progressive.i always have some symptoms,often a lot,and it is progressing.I.E.getting worse.but the good news is that she is pretty sure it wont go to anything worse.mainly due to my age.so lucy,stop worrying.i know you.lol. the reason i cant have any different tablets is because of the heart meds i am on.which i knew.i go to see Dr.C in january,and linda will be in touch with him before then to bring him up to speed about my heart problems,and also the back.i go 11th november to discuss if i am going to try injections in the vertebra,or maybe fusion of 4 vertebra.

Unfortunately it seems i am still getting angina,albeit not so bad,so what will happen when i see the heart specialist im not sure.we shall see.

And so to the start of my 3rd year of a journal writer.and ive come full circle.because i am waiting for yet another carers assessment,just as i was 2 years ago,they were supposed to have been in touch long before now.i feel a phonecall will be needed lol.mum went to the chiropodists monday,a nice young man,lol,did her feet.the gout has returned as it is prone to do,and he dressed her feet for her and generally made a good job of treating them. she is getting worse,memory wise,forgets the names of things,gets confused. gets scared if i arent here.and yes,its got a lot harder for me to cope.i have asked for an extra call at night,to help her get undressed and ready for bed,but i am still waiting to hear.while i can i am her carer.there is no way that is going to change.but i do need more help.whether i get it??we shall see in the coming year ahead.i do apologise to you my readers,i often dont read your blogs,often even poor lucy gets missed.but i am still going to write in this tatty old journal,bit dogeared and worn though it is,not so often as i did,but if there is something to share,then share i will. because i realised only just recently,i do the sharing,and you,the new jland,my fellow blog writers and readers,you do the caring.and i thank you all. take care all.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO YOU ALL.

its just not fair

Sugar has already posted on Call for Support but i am adding my call as well.many of you know jane,a lot because i have mentioned her often in the past. bad news from her loving husband Martin,she has broken a leg and is in hospital, A journey of another kind....: JANE'S HAD A BRAKE !! please,please,visit her blog and leave martin,and jane a message of support.she has suffered more than one person should ever have to suffer,she never gives in,she always fights,and she is my friend.she always thinks of me,even when her own pain is nearly too much to bear.and YES,i am bloody crying as i write this. thankyou to my friend sybil for telling me about her,i havent been reading blogs much lately.please take a moment to pray for a lovely,caring lady,who is in pain.take care all. jane,you bloody well fight girl.you are in my thoughts.

PLEASE CAN I ASK YOUR HELP

A good friend on facebook,and from my old poker league has just been diagnosed with a very aggressive form of breast cancer. can i please ask those of you whose faith is greater than mine if you can pray for her?PAMELA A. i shall keep her surname private.because she is a private lady.i think for her to admit she has this most evil of diseases took more courage than anyone could imagine. i call her friend,although we will never meet.just as i will never meet any of you,my readers.but the internet knows no distance,or restrictions.nor do prayers.guido,if you read this,or anyone can help,can this be put on call for support as well please?you are in my thoughts pam.keep fighting.xxx

For myself i am in great discomfort,the bruising is still bad,both in groin,and wrist.but i have a walk to shop every morning,i cook dinner,do the housework,but i am also resting. thankyou all for your lovely comments and good wishes. and in advance for the prayers i know you will send for pamela. this is the reason i didnt go ahead and close my journal.when the chips are down,jland always looks after its own,take care all.

heart sore again.

i went into hospital at 7pm this last monday,pam took me up there,stayed in overnight,next morning i was woken at 5am and given breakfast,lol.then had a shower,and was taken to angio suite around 10.Dr.E.is a wonderful surgeon,he explained that he would go in through wrist,but that he wanted to do a pressure test on the heart,and was going into groin as well.i can honestly say it was the nastiest procedure i have ever endured.so bad that i actually accepted morphine.not often i need that kind of thing.anyway,he told me i actually had a blockage in the main artery and it could be treated in 2 ways.either bypass,at papworth hospital,or a stent.as he was already in the artery we decided stent.and in fact 2 were fitted.now if there is still angina,although the flow rate went from 73% before stent to 98% after,i shall have to have a bypass.the op.went well,after i was taken to coronary care,in a private room for 5 hours to recover.did manage to eat me roast turkey lunch,was nice too lol,had to keep wrist still as possible,after 4 hours the catheter i still had in groin was removed.and i was taken back to ward.next morning,after a very bad nights sleep i was discharged at 7.30mand pam picked me up.she came straight to the hospital from work,and i was home by 8.40.
so,all done and sorted? well,i knew i had a small haematoma,blood clot,under the skin in my groin.but at around 3 later that day i went to the loo,thought,cor that feels sore,looked and............it was huge.so i rang the cardiac nurses number at the hospital and explained i was a bit concerned.she said,so is it around the size,say of an acorn?ermmmm no,more like a very large hens egg.shape and thickness. deadly silence from other end. 2 minutes please. soon she was back,ok,i have spoken to the registrar,get up here now,as soon as you can,we need to see this.so,i had to get brian,mums friend to take me,pam being on nights i couldnt ask her again.30 plus miles.we got there at 6.i went up to cardiology and it was closed,but a nice nurse showed me to the cardiac ward.i showed the staff nurse the lump and she said,oh bloody hell.thats nasty.rang for a dr.i waited in day room,until a young medic came,he examined me on a spare bed,said,my registrar must see this,and went and got him.he carefully poked,prodded and generally had a good look,and said that it seemed to him that blood had pooled behind the catheter in artery,and it was this that was causing it.he was quite sure though that it would be ok,if any bleeding or if pain got worse i was to ring 999 at once.so we came home to a relieved mum.the wrist and groin have both given me hell.very painful,but today the swelling has subsiided.but the color. i am black in my groin and upper thigh.lot of discomfort.cant drive for a week,cant lift for a month.but i do feel better.lot of discomfort in heart but thats to be expected,and it is getting better.many,many thanks to all who left me so many lovely comments on facebook,to lucy for her mails,and to all who have been asking about me.
i go to pain management clinic in november about back,back up in december for consultation with dr E,and MS consultant in january.lol.may as well pitch a tent there i think.
I have asked for another carers assessment.i cant manage any more.ive tried,and tried.but mum is getting more and more forgetful and vague. luckily thanks to tracey and carol,and her friend chris,she coped the 2 nights i was away.but she wouldnt if i have to go in for a long time.and i need help.because im so tired.she cant help it bless her.and i wont let her go into a nursing home,but i do need further help at night now,and i am going to ask for it.im 56,i look 66,and feel 76.take care all.