Saturday, 5 June 2010

MEMORIES.


Martin has posted on janes blog,A journey of another kind....: And Finally Her funeral is to be held on the 11th of June.Martin writes of his grief and thanks us for our comments.Please will you visit and leave a last comment for this wonderful lady.I am sure Guido will put a message on Call for Support but this is for Jane. Someone asked me,well meaningly,why her death has upset me so.after all,she died of cancer,not MS like dear Emma,her death was expected,and had been for some time.so why?the answer is in the title of this entry.MEMORIES.jane has always been my heroine on here,i have often commented i was in awe of her,of her courage,her bravery.but there are so many others on here that are as ill,dying,have died.but jane has been a part of my blogging,since i first saw her journal all that time ago.the old Jland we all love and miss.my blog in those days was indeed of caring for mum,of me sharing that with you.then MS was confirmed,and lately it seems to have taken over.as it has my life.the heart attack,back trouble,ill health.all have taken their toll. but Jane was still here.she was fighting her vile disease,so would i.now she has gone. i miss her.but she will be remembered,by me,by many.
i have,as do we all, memories of a happier life,of when i was fit and well.when mum was able to get about without a frame or wheelchair,of having a job i loved,a girlfriend i loved.memories. life deals us blows,people we love change,mothers we thought were invincible grow old,and get frail and forgetful,and scared.and we ourselves get diseases we cant control. and we get scared too.but we still have our memories.and i suppose i mourn the passing of those memories,as i mourn the passing of Jane.another friend lost,no more words of encouagement to cheer me when i am down,in pain.i may need further heart surgery,i am getting angina bad.the MS seems to be getting worse. the pain management consultant has told me he cannot help with the crushed disc,it is too risky an operation to have.so memories sometimes are all we have left to keep us going. and in memory of Jane,i am going to do my best to keep on caring and sharing for some time yet to come.
I wish Martin peace,and joy in his memories of his beloved JANE.
As i wish to all who are in pain,alone,scared,that every one of us find peace and joy in our own MEMORIES. take care all,thanks for being my friends. MORT.

16 comments:

Stephany said...

Sending a lot of peace and positive thoughts your way, from WA.USA

You are not alone, in fact you are inspiring as Jane inspired. Keep up the good fight.

jun said...

dear Morton, I believe that I shall live forever in paradise. As I live on this earth I hope I have not lived in vain, merely existing.
I pray that my very life is a positive reality for others , my brothers and sisters. Most of all I pray that my life glorifies the heavenly Father, the creator and giver of life.Hearbreak , illness is our lot. The true test is how we deal with this.
You my friend have impacted many lives, just as did your dear friend. memories are dear to us all. But we must take those memries to give us strength to rejoice in the life of those gone before us.And to accept that their journey is over and they are at last in sublime peace. love jun

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Good memories are treasures and to be able to have them is a blessing in itself. What a wonderful tribute you made to such a courageous woman. Bless you Morton for sharing your memories.

Sheila said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. You have so many things in your life, yet you care so much for others. You are an inspiration to us all. Prayers for you, Sheila

jack69 said...

Great memories and tribute, from a hail and tough guy, who is also a GIVER!

jack69 said...

Great memories and tribute, from a hail and tough guy, who is also a GIVER!

Jan said...

Dear Mort yet another lovely tribute to our Jane ,I can understand when you say how we miss her even though we only knew her through the blogs ,she was so vibrant and well all the other words we all used ,you too have that gift Mort and for that we love you too ..love to Mum ,....bless you both ..love Jan xx

Sue said...

Mort, if there was a knighthood for people that care then you would be the most deserving candidate, I am so proud to know you as my friend, take care Mort, love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

LYN said...

A GOOD REMINDER MORT THAT ONE DAY THE LIFE WE ARE LIVING NOW WILL ONLY BE A MEMORY SO IT IS UP TO US TO MAKE THE MOST OF EACH AND EVERY DAY...

Lucy said...

Mort, You are a good man, a compassionate man and enough like me to feel the loss of someone you know and admired so much very deeply. You do not have to know that person to admire their fight to hold on to life as long as possible. I am so sorry for the loss of a great person but she fought this disease for as long as she could. I understand your deep feelings for the loss.

Jean said...

Hi Mort ,I know you through Jan my sister and you helped me with your kinds words when I was worried about my heart and was having tests for it .
You too have been brave like Jane and always think of others before yourself ..Bless you for this
Love Jeanxx

Yasmin said...

Lovely Mort you are so kind and always thinking of others, even when your not always in the best of health, but you have genuine compassion.

Hugs

Yasmin
xxx

krissy knox said...

Mort, I was going to say to you, b4I even finished reading your post -- GO ON -- in memory and honor of Jane. That is what she would want of you, and even demand of you. Do it for her, do it for all who struggle in many ways in life, but especially with illnesses (and as carers). Do it bc you are such a good example of a carer. And do it bc you are someone who has illnesses and fights so hard to live, just as my John does. You are such a good example, as I said, just as Jane was. Continue to be that good example, Mort, instead of mourning Jane too much. You can mourn her some, but then go on, and take up her cause -- one who can be an example and great encouragement to others, bc that is what she wants. She is looking down from heaven and desiring that from you, Morton. Does that make sense.

Did someone actually ask you why you would be upset at her death??? Sheesh! Never mind, heaven forbid I even think about that one. As you stated the person was well meaning...

Gee, I'm so emotional tonight. I'm thinking about our Jland tonight. I found an old blog of mine. It was called John's Journey With MDS. I can't remember if you read it or not. I accidentally read some of it tonight. And cried. About 5 yrs ago john had his 2nd cancer, and a year or two later i thought the hospital hopping would be over. boy was i dumb... and i remember all the support we gave each other back then. yes, we still do give each other support. anyway, i was reading the posts, and reading the comments and all the support. and was crying tonight. and i don't even know why...

anyway, thanks for your comment on FB. you're the best.

I'm not even sure what i'm trying to say here. just go on as i go on. as we must go on.

be an inspiration, cause jane would want it that way. and if you get scared, she'll look down and gently but oh so quietly cheer you on.

krissy knox
http://twitter.com/iamkrissy

Zoe said...

Finding peace is an uphill struggle sometimes.Ive always advocated writing,in all its forms.Freefall being my favourite and taught in therapy many times over.Freefall works for me because you just write,you dont tend to read as you do,jus thoughts that come into your head,thats my genre when writing my blog and Jane advocated that too.We talked alot about it.I agreed with her that getting your thoughts out helped the healing,when I started blogging I was naive,I didnt think anyone would actually read anything I wrote,Jane was one of the first to,and comment,she taught me how to organise my thoughts more.Thats why I mix my sound offs with comedy,light-hearted thoughts to detract from the depths of the soul that are in pain.It worked,I am who I am because of people like Jane,I began with a cry for help and now I enjoy a life in a community that cares.So I miss her,but I wont grieve,every time I write,she is with me too.Write what she would want to read and she is with you.xxxxxx

mortonlake said...

lovely comments,from lovely people.thats Jland and while it lives so does janes memory.thanks and take care all.xxx

Lisa said...

Mort, sending you hugs from California xxxxxxxxx Lisa