amazonian rain forest maybe???
whats that lurking behind all those weeds???
this is how i found my dads and granddads graves yesterday. Hindolvestone church yard and the graves have featured before in my journal, but this time i was horrified. i honestly had no idea where my grandparents graves were at first. dads was bad enough. now,ok it is my fault you can say,i haven't been to do them in ages,mainly because i have to load the mower into car,drive 17 miles unload,cut graves repeat. and i really havent felt well enough to do them. i didn't yesterday,my ankle is killing me,but i loaded car,had got some nice flowers i had bought, and went to hindol to do them. i was there nearly 2 bloody hours. absolutely exhausted,and seething. i keep cutting 4 more graves besides my families,1 of which is next to dads, the family of that persons grave know i am ill. and would have seen the state of my dads grave, so,dont you think that just maybe,they could have cut it for me when they cut theres last week or whenever?? that was all neatly cut. oh no. so,i am afraid i didnt cut the other ones i normally do. i was too tired. maybe its me,but i was rather annoyed.
anyway,got home,had quick sandwich,and straight out into garden. yes,full moon this week,lol. i had to take down baskets and bags. they have flowered themselves out. i still have 3 baskets and 4 wall baskets with just the fuschias left in them. all the busy lizzies and petunias were removed. and they still look good. sometime i will post a pic. i also, as i was doing it,cleaned the boarder up,removed all the dead bedding,and planted 4 geraniums i had in pots. looks clean and tidy. should do,i took 5 barrowloads of rubbish off. collapsed in chair after i can tell you.
today, i leapt out of bed with a song in my.......................ok i cant move lol. who said serves you right mort?? you quite right it does. my ankle is trying to turn into a football,my legs ache,i didnt sleep too good,as i was in pain. so why did i do it??? bear in mind i did cook a full roast lunch today,but thats all i have done,i went to bed after lunch. slept nearly 3 hours. so why?? why do it all at once??
the trouble with MS,is its such a deceptive disease. when in remittance,and i am feeling reasonably ok i can get on and do stuff, bearing in mind i have 3 crushed discs in my lower back, and had a discectomy 15 years ago, so pain is something i live with every day. but. and this is where i went wrong back in january, i thought MS was just another ache,another pain,one i can ignore,like i can mostly with my back. take things easy,i will be ok. no worries . what i hadnt realised not until a few weeks ago is,MS moves the goal posts. just as you think i can cope with this,it changes.hits you with something else.
I really havent said too much before now about how it affects me. oh,you know i have pain,swallowing troubles bad ankle. well,i had called this journal "caring and sharing" because its what i do, i care for mum 24/7/365. it was supposed to be about my life caring for her, and i thought well,its turning into "mortys got MS" so i deliberately have tried to keep a lot back. i had a good moan in an earlier posting. i didnt want to come over as being "brave" in caring for mum whilst having MS. then a comment from guido made me stop and think,maybe i should speak more of the MS, because maybe,out there in jland there is someone reading this,who has just been diagnosed,or who has MS and isnt coping well. so, bear with me for a while. lets just explain what this vile disease is,how it affects me,and where i am going from here. i shall post this now,part 2 will follow shortly. please bear with me. take care all
10 comments:
Mort, all I can do is sit and relive your disease with you., and yes shed a tear for you or with you. And I am being petty over a comment or 2. Mort, god bless you. You are what I call a good friend. Lucy
hey mort! you are a real person Mort, and you have a real disease. anybody who cant handle that should not read your journal. life isnt always a fairy tale for most of us, nor does it wrap everything up in a nice , cute happy ending like television and movies. i like you as a person m.s. or no m.s.
as far as the graves are concerned, yes the people should be ashamed for their lack of humanity. but you just do as feel best dear man. i have told my children to please cremate my remains. i dont want them feeling quilty for not caring for my grave. they dont visit much while i am alive so i dont expect anything when i am dead., lol afterall this body is just a shell i look forward to my real body once I am gone home to heaven. much love, your friend , jun
I sure hope you are feeling better again very soon.... you did way too much cutting the grass, etc. You have to pay attention to your limitations.
Take Care,
Joann
Actually the pictures are rather pretty. Sorry you had so much work to do, I don't understand why families had to tend the grounds for the cemetery? Is it because they are privately owned? Curious- Hope you are feeling better, you must take care of yourself as well as Mom. Dannelle
Mort, first let me say I am so sorry about the graves and yes, I do think someone could have done it for you. I am lucky my parents are in a lawn cemetery that is maintained by the council. Secondly, I am so glad you are being more open and honest about your MS. It helps you get some of the frustration out of your system and may well help others who are diagnosed. You rant as much as you want to.
Hi Mort so sorry to see the mess in the graveyard. Up here in Scotland our graves are all tended free of charge and are all kept beautiful. I think we all tend to do too much when we are having a good day did the same sort of thing last week. Take care./ Love Joan.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/jaymact1/JoansMusings/en
I'm shocked at the condition of the graves. I never heard of having to cut the grass yourself? Out here the graves are maintained by the cemetery, or church. I'm sorry the other person didn't think to cut yours too. That was just rude.
It's good to see you opening up in these entries. It gives me a better idea of what you go through on a daily basis.
Take care of yourself. Sending you a hug.
Love Pam
The graves are all mowed here by the cemetery so I never had to worry about that thank goodness. It must be terrible for you when your not feeling well yourselves and shame on the other person for not pitching in. Personally I think it is good to write about your illness, for someone who has it that may read your journal and for you. Take care
Julie
Hello Mort, what a shock to find the graves in such a state, and i don;t think anyone would blame you for tending your family graves only. I know you like to think of your blog as your experiences of caring for your Mum, but your MS is all part of that and if you are happy to write about it then you should, it in no way detracts from all the care you give your Mum.
Big Luv from Jaynee on holiday XX
How awful about the graves....I cannot even imagine how you must have felt, finding them this way. Doesn't the cemetary mow and trim for you? Here, in the area I live in, they have a cemetary care taker that mows right up to the grave stone. But you are so right, Why someone else wouldn't have done that, I dodn't know. When we go to my Grandparent's grave, we always clean up around us too, it's just the right thing to do. So sorry that this happened to you.....so sorry.
Pooh Hugs,
Linda
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