amazonian rain forest maybe???
whats that lurking behind all those weeds???
this is how i found my dads and granddads graves yesterday. Hindolvestone church yard and the graves have featured before in my journal, but this time i was horrified. i honestly had no idea where my grandparents graves were at first. dads was bad enough. now,ok it is my fault you can say,i haven't been to do them in ages,mainly because i have to load the mower into car,drive 17 miles unload,cut graves repeat. and i really havent felt well enough to do them. i didn't yesterday,my ankle is killing me,but i loaded car,had got some nice flowers i had bought, and went to hindol to do them. i was there nearly 2 bloody hours. absolutely exhausted,and seething. i keep cutting 4 more graves besides my families,1 of which is next to dads, the family of that persons grave know i am ill. and would have seen the state of my dads grave, so,dont you think that just maybe,they could have cut it for me when they cut theres last week or whenever?? that was all neatly cut. oh no. so,i am afraid i didnt cut the other ones i normally do. i was too tired. maybe its me,but i was rather annoyed.
anyway,got home,had quick sandwich,and straight out into garden. yes,full moon this week,lol. i had to take down baskets and bags. they have flowered themselves out. i still have 3 baskets and 4 wall baskets with just the fuschias left in them. all the busy lizzies and petunias were removed. and they still look good. sometime i will post a pic. i also, as i was doing it,cleaned the boarder up,removed all the dead bedding,and planted 4 geraniums i had in pots. looks clean and tidy. should do,i took 5 barrowloads of rubbish off. collapsed in chair after i can tell you.
today, i leapt out of bed with a song in my.......................ok i cant move lol. who said serves you right mort?? you quite right it does. my ankle is trying to turn into a football,my legs ache,i didnt sleep too good,as i was in pain. so why did i do it??? bear in mind i did cook a full roast lunch today,but thats all i have done,i went to bed after lunch. slept nearly 3 hours. so why?? why do it all at once??
the trouble with MS,is its such a deceptive disease. when in remittance,and i am feeling reasonably ok i can get on and do stuff, bearing in mind i have 3 crushed discs in my lower back, and had a discectomy 15 years ago, so pain is something i live with every day. but. and this is where i went wrong back in january, i thought MS was just another ache,another pain,one i can ignore,like i can mostly with my back. take things easy,i will be ok. no worries . what i hadnt realised not until a few weeks ago is,MS moves the goal posts. just as you think i can cope with this,it changes.hits you with something else.
I really havent said too much before now about how it affects me. oh,you know i have pain,swallowing troubles bad ankle. well,i had called this journal "caring and sharing" because its what i do, i care for mum 24/7/365. it was supposed to be about my life caring for her, and i thought well,its turning into "mortys got MS" so i deliberately have tried to keep a lot back. i had a good moan in an earlier posting. i didnt want to come over as being "brave" in caring for mum whilst having MS. then a comment from guido made me stop and think,maybe i should speak more of the MS, because maybe,out there in jland there is someone reading this,who has just been diagnosed,or who has MS and isnt coping well. so, bear with me for a while. lets just explain what this vile disease is,how it affects me,and where i am going from here. i shall post this now,part 2 will follow shortly. please bear with me. take care all