a grave mistake part 2 the MS bit lol

MS   2 simple initials,   stands for multiple  sclerosis       basically,wont  bore  you with details   it  means many lesions         or  scars.   it is a disease  of the central nervous  system where  the bodies own immune system turns on itself,stripping the myelin off  the nerves         (think of  myelin as the insulation,the nerves as the bare  cable  as in an iron or kettles  flex say. )  and  causing  "short circuits" in the body.  these  short circuits  are  the cause of  pain,loss of sensation,all sorts  of unpleasant  effects.   depending  on the number  of  lesions           and  where they are.   at  the last scan 2 years ago  i had  4 in my brain,5 on my spinal chord           something  like  that.   was  in   a  daze  when i was told.   doesn't  matter,  pretty  sure  theres  one or 2 more  now.

lets  just  clear up one or two misconceptions.   YOU DO NOT DIE FROM MS.  and  before  my  lovely  friend  lucy, day-to-day-life-by-Lucille4364 , starts screaming  at  me,let  me just explain.  her  beloved  and much missed  son  alan   died  tragically   in his early  40s     from  complications  caused  by  MS.       he  had a really aggressive  form           and  sadly   it  killed  him. please visit  her journal  and  read  her moving  tribute  to  him,and  how  it affected him.      makes  sad  reading.      and  lucy,   you have  been more of a help to me  than you will ever  know  in  my  coping  with  it.but noteveryone will go on to  get  that bad.

1 in 4 people end up in a wheelchair,or paralised in bed (like poor Emma,Wendys  21 year old daughter,bless her.i asked  jland to pray for her,as she had a bad  chest infection a while ago.she  got  over  it.  one  day  sadly  she  will not. )         but  that  means   3  in 4 people  will  not.  many  people  have  MS,and  never  even realise  it.its not found until after they  die and there is a post mortem.    several  different  types,if you really are interested   please visit  the MS societys  website          the  link is on my sidebar.   EVERY MS SUFFERER  IS DIFFERENT.     How i am now,doesn't  mean its  how i will be  next  year,or  even  next  week.  i  could  go  downhill very  quickly,or,like  my next door neighbour,remain  pretty  mobile  for many  years.   WE ALL SUFFER IN DIFFERENT WAYS.   now,  i am a very  private  person,so  some things  i have'nt  told before,except  in  my  "black"journal.       the  private  one  i keep to  scream in .   its  not for public viewing.   not  even  in  my  name.       now  i am going  to  tell it  all.   

MY SYMPTOMS.    vary  from  week to week,these  are  what  i  have  had/have now/never bloody  want again.    

loss of feeling  in my  hands and  fingers,at  first it was  just  the right   now  its  both.   think  pins and  needles,  or  better        imagine plunging  your  hands  into stinging nettles           that  burning sensation??   i have  that  all the time.

spasticity.    it  means   a  jerking, uncontrolled  spasmodic  "twitch"    i  get  it in  legs,and  left  shoulder.  i  have woken  nearly  screaming  in agony.           Pain in  my  legs,  a dull "ache"   that  wont  go away.           my  right  ankle  is  bad.  very      also  the  left  but  not  so bad.  MS  causes  ankles  to  swell              a  lot of  my pain  is  also due to arthritis  in them as well.   balance  problems,  i  do come  over  dizzy  often and have  had  3  falls.   im sure  i told  you lucy.   lol   sorry   but   some things  were  too painful.

optical  neuritis.      please god never again.    a  sharp  stabbing  pain  from  "behind" the eyeball.    thankfully  it  cleared  up  fast.            "the  fuzzies"     my term for it.  actually  it  was  a friends  in  chatrooms  term  for  it     she  has it as well.         i  nicked it  sylv  lol.          i sit here  sometimes,and i cant  think.   i  cant type  as  i cant seem  to  know  where  the letters  are,       usually  if  im tired.        it  passes but  its  scary. wonder  why  i dont  post  as  often as i used  to??    these  new  tablets  do help  though.

incontinence.         hide  that  one  up,no-one  may notice,        it  has  happened  3  times,with MS  you  can lose  control of  your  bladder         that  spray  i used  last  week  will stop  that          bit  too well  lol     its   very  embarassing.         also  you  really  cant   just  wait  to  go to the toilet,if you want  to  go   you  GOT  to go,no choice.

impotence.      well,  lets just say       "  fings aint  what  they  used to  be "     and  leave it at  that.   and  yes         viagra  will help.     

swallowing  problems.   sometimes  food,tablets   etc.get stuck,the nerves  in my throat  that control  the muscles   dont  always  work properly.          speech problems.   not  bad but i do slur  my words  if  i talk a lot   or i am tired.      depression.       ya think?  lol   

so         sounds  horrendous doesnt  it??  there  i  lay,  twitching,screaming,peeing,      except  i  am here  typing  this journal.  yes  my  ankle  hurts,yes  my  legs  ache,yes  my hands  are  numb               and  me  bloody  back is  killing  me.            but  i can   walk,ok  i do use a walking  stick.   (jaynee  hun  if  you  reading  this,can i have  ya pink one??? lol)        i  can  care  for  my  mum  still,ok   sometimes  the  house  doesnt  always  get hoovered/dusted   etc.  but  who  cares?  its  reasonably  clean.  i  stillcook,just  being  very  careful  how  i  hold  hot  tins.        i  still can drive,  if  i feel  very bad,we  don't  go out in car.       common sense.      i  still do my garden.      ON MY GOOD DAYS.         and  thats  the  thing.       there  are  days  i  really  cant  do  anything  except  feel sorry for myself.          so  now,i dont.   mum understands now  better,  and  we  get along  from  day  to  day           we  help each  other.

so,  anyone  who  has  got  MS,or just  diagnosed  with  it,please      don't  despair.   hopefully   you  will have a long  and  useful  life.   just  take things easy,   and  don't  do what  i did for  these   past  7  months or so.    pretend  its not  there            it  is.   but  it can  be  tamed.           at  least         i am going  to have a damn good try.    take care  all           and  thanks  for all the comments  on my editors  choice entry.   even if  2  new  readers  did assume  i was  female.       lol          you  all help,more than you can realise               mort