my name is morton.AND I AM AN ADDICT.!!

I can barely write these words. the shame of it.but the time has come for me to admit to you all my shameful secret.  I AM AN ADDICT.   it started  so innocently,a friend got me into it,at first  i wasn't really interested,then slowly,before i realised  it          i was hooked.      now,here  i sit     twitching  from  withdrawal symptoms.   how low  have i become?   so what is it   i hear  you ask?  cocaine?  heroin??  crack??   the demon drink?    maybe  pot  or ecstacy?   no   far,far  worse.  i   morton lake  have  become an  addict  of            facebook.     and  to be more precise    owned on  facebook.         hangs  head  in shame.         lol       now  i know a lot has been written about facebook,and  other social networking  sites,and  yes  there are a lot of rubbish  on there,  but  i have got hooked on owned,  basically  you  buy "friends "photos  and earn  "lunchmoney"  for doing  so.   think  stocks and shares with a touch of poker  thrown in.   the secret is to know when to stop buying them back  lol.   and  before anyone says anything        i know a lot of jland  already are on facebook,and  its  sister site  my yearbook.  i got 3 as friends.   any one else  reading this  happens to be members,add me  lol.         so there you have  it        my shameful secret is out.    

actually  the break from writng this journal has done  me        and you    lol     a lot of good,i was finding it hard to write entries,writers block.lol.   hopefully i am back  for good.   but if i am away for any length of time,   at least now  you know  where  i am  lol.  wonder  if that pic sold  i just bo..........  oops  sorry   .ahem  

now, whats been happening?   mum  has had a lot of pain with the arthritis,and as i said  getting very forgetful,but  at the moment  seems pretty much ok.  got chiropodists tomorrow,so hopefully  her feet  will be easier  for her afterwards.  my MS?  ah,now  that  im afraid  is not so good.  i had a fall last week which has left me feeling  very sore.  i was in the garden,just planted a hardy fuschia out that had been in a pot all summer,trod it in,  came over dizzy,went backwards      so i automatically  stepped back   and..................fell straight over  the bloody water feature behind  me.   went down with a crash too.        that hurt.   swallowing bad at the moment,speech a bit slurred,legs hurt,ankle is  still swollen although the anti inflammatories  do help.   still going though  lol.   

i finally had an answer about the carers grant i had applied for. 2 social workers came last week to see mum an me.  ( im pretty sure they travel as pairs for moral support  lol )  my assessment officer is a new lady as the one i saw last year  is away on maternity leave,    and  she  was  quick to tell me          of course i am entitled to a carers grant.  they rang me the week before to make an appointment to come and see us.   the other lady is mums new social worker.she came to assess mums  needs.        although   quite  what she thought had altered  i am not sure?   and         i  did notice        that she is the  4th i have seen in a short space of time.  fast turnover in that job.  i do feel sorry for them actually.  it must be a hopeless task for them sometimes.

to cut a long story short,i am going to get a carers grant  to enable me to go out  one day a week,using  bus  and train         driving  long distances  is painful for me,   and  i decided on days out,rather than  going away  because  i dont think  mum is  too good  at me being away from her for any length of time,so i thought,a day out,once a week  will get her used to me being away          and  maybe next year  i can get away  for a week or so.        her social worker is arranging for a carer to come in to give her a sandwich  and cup of tea for lunch,also  crossroads carers will come for 3 hours  in the afternoon to sit with her,  this arrangement will be ongoing,  i am just waiting for  the cheque,and confirmation  when this can start.         to be able  just  to get to Norwich  for the day,look round the castle museum,cathedral   etc.        that  will do  for me  for now.   and wont be too stressful for mum either.  she knows i will be home around  5ish     and seems ok with the idea.

tracey has been on holiday for the last 2 weeks,so we have been getting up a bit later,she is back with us friday,i didnt want another carer in her place,as before when tracey had a holiday   her firm  wanted  mum to  keep having  different carers in each day, they always seem to be short staffed   so  we said dont bother. 

the  flowers  in the pots and baskets have all been dumped,and  i have winter flowering pansies in them in their place.    £3 for 20 at tescos,not a bad price,but the weather  turned warm just after i put them in  (at last  lol )  and they aren't doing all that well. i will post pics  later.      as for the tomatoes   they are  pulled up and dumped.  i can safely say  they were the  worse i have ever grown          tasteless,tough,not very nice at all. 

So,there  we are.  i think  i shall be with you again  as normal,but  i  dont promise  to read quite as many journals as i was  doing.   what with  facebook,and  poker,( i am playing a lot more than i did,and have joined a private league on AOL games,anyone  interested  in  good  poker,free to join  and  of course  play,i cant afford to play  for cash  lol,with  prizes  that  can be won  for no fee,lovely people to play with,get in touch and  i will mail details.)  jland   sometimes  gets slightly ignored by me.      but  i  do read  your journals.  i  am always  here  if anyone  wants  me,  i  do still care about you all. thanks for all your kind mails and comments,take care all.             

memories of 7 years ago

it is said everyone remembers what they were doing when President Kennedy was shot,when the news of Diana,Princess of Wales was killed,   and    9-11.   the most awful terrorist attrocity any of us could ever imagine.     Well  it's true in my case.       Kennedy,i was a schoolboy,just about to have tea,when the news came on tv.     Diana,i switched the radio on  that sunday morning to hear the local news.       as for 7 years ago,i had just got home from the hospital,i had been for a MRI scan on my neck,back,and brain,the second i had had,trying to determine the cause of the lack of sensation in my hands,       well    7  years  on,  and with MS  diagnosed   i now  know.

I had just got home,mum was not so bad then,she was still reasonably mobile,i was in not such pain.  i had driven back from hospital,just made a cup of tea  and was eating a sandwich  when         NEWS FLASH,   the twin towers  had been hit by an aircraft, dreadful accident,       as  mum and i watched        the second plane hit,and  we realised  this was no accident.      something  evil   had  just  happened.    and  the world  was never going to be the same again.      Here in the UK  we have had our share of terrorist attacks,Lockerbie,the IRA bomb attacks,  so many we  had  almost forgotten  them all.   9-11 was different.       not just  the sheer scale of the attacks,the awful loss of life,the sheer horror  of it all,   these attacks were carried out  by extremists  willing  and eager  to die in the process. the world had entered a new phase of terror.   one which  we still fear today,7 years on. the result  of these attacks? War in  Afghanistan ,and Iraq followed.  making  no comment  on either         this  is not the place,i am not qualified.  

I took 2 minutes  today.   stood in silence,remembering  where  i was  7  years ago today.  MAY THERE NEVER BE ANOTHER 9-11,EVER AGAIN.

 can i just say thanks       to everyone who commented,emailed and IMd me  after i had posted i was going to be away from journals.        you are all wonderful.    i cried.     i really did.       thankyou all.       there is a reason i was going.  that reason    is  there is someone who reads my journal,also visits mum sometimes.   and i was scared  she would say something to mum about  my MS,or about anything i have written about  mum.i did consider going private,but really didn't want to do that.      anyway,i had a long talk with this person yesterday,explained my fears,and  she has promised never to repeat to mum anything she reads  here.       my mum  is getting  very forgetful.     and  that is all i want to say for now.       just  one more worry  though.       I went to Drs.this morning,and he looked at  my ankle,which is swollen        and  very painful.   driving  is  so difficult,some days i darent try.  he says  i am walking  on the side of my foot to try and ease the pain in my ankle  and am making  my heel and tendons in the foot inflamed.  he gave me anti-inflammatories  which i am taking 2 a day.hopefully these will help.        i do know,mums volunteer visitor came today at 2 to see her,i made her a cuppa,as it was raining and i wasn't feeling well i went to bed,and went out like a light for 2 hours.      bit stiff and sore.lol.  maybe they will help.    i  really hope so.take care all

9-11, IN MEMORIUM.

 

 

                                                           

IN MEMORY OF THOSE WHO DIED IN 9-11.

            WE WILL NEVER FORGET.

I was going to write a small tribute here,instead may i please ask you to check out jeanettes moving entry on her journal     Jeannette's Jottings    who has done a far more lovelier tribute than i could ever do.    GOD BLESS AMERICA.             take care all

i may be gone some time

there are  things  i want to put down in here.   but  i dont know  how to start.  all i know  is  i may be gone from this journal for a while. MS  seems to be winning  the fight,all i know is pain,ankle so bad i cant drive at the moment,even with a support.   got 2 social workers coming next week,see if i can get any respite.  but  mum is not well.       all i am going to say,because  i  cant bring myself to write any more about  it.      it is getting  harder  for  me to find anything positive to write about,and  i  really dont want pity  thanks.        i shall  still be reading some journals,but forgive me if i dont comment on yours.     this journal is one year old next month         i hope to be able to post a more positive entry  before then.        thanks  for all you comments.      take care all