Sunday, 15 June 2008

fathers day thoughts

i hope those of you lucky enough to still have your fathers   have remembered  them  today,Fathers day.  my dad died when i was  18        he was  just 53,   died from a heart attack.    in those days   we    (like the majority  of  working class families in those days  did'nt have a telephone,   so  when at around 3.30 in the morning i was woken  by mum shouting   that  dad  was  in terrible pain,  pains  in chest  and  down arms,   i had to peddle nearly a mile down the road  to the public  telephone  box.  i  rang our family doctor,   Dr.Meanly    he  was  70  then i'd  guess,   rather  blunt  to say the least,  but  a  good dr.   i  said,dads  in terrible pain,chest,arms.etc.   he  said,well tell him to take  2 aspirin and i will look in  in morning.   okkkk        don't argue  with  dr he knows  best.   so  i got on  bike  and  pedalled  back home,   just  as  i was  telling  mum  what  he had  said,a car pulled up  and  the  dr  knocked  on  door.   after  he put  phone  down  he  thought        pains  in chest??  arms??   oh  hell   and  jumped  into car.   bearing  in mind  he lived  at  foulsham   the next village,2 and  half  miles away     he  mustve  drove  like a madman   lol.   he  examined  dad       and  said  he  has had a heart attack,  not a  very serious  one,but  a heart attack   nevertheless,  he  gave dad an injection   which  sent  him to sleep       and  said  would call in in morning.   off  back to his  bed  he went.   me  and  mum  sat  talking  and  drinking  tea,  until  my  bloody alarm clock  suddenly  went  off,  it  was  6.30    on  the  saturday  before august  bank  holiday   1971       i  was working   at  an ironmongers,( previous  entry  somewhere,)  and  had  set  my alarm.  i  ran  to my bedroom  and  stopped  it,   but  dad  woke.   we  looked  in,   he  said  the pain  had  eased        and  dozed  back  off.    mum and  i  went  back   to  the  lounge,   and  we  had  hardly  sat  down  when   we  heard  an awful  noise.    dad  had  had  a massive  heart  attack,    and  died   at 6.42    the  noise  was  the  "death  rattle"    and  i would  rather  never  hear  it again.       although  i knew  he had  gone,i  ran  up to  our  friends  house    100 yards   has  never  seemed  so far    dr. mathers       a  lovely  old  gentleman  of  the  old  school,   very  polite,well spoken.  a retired  anaesthatist         i   knocked  on  his  door,he  came  still in pyjamas,   listened  to   my  frantic  dads  dea..........and  was  off  like  lightening.   he  was  getting  on  for  70            but  he beat  me  back         easily.    he  tried   giving   CPR    and  kiss  of life,  to  no avail.         my  dad was  dead.       later i ramg  the  doctor     and  told  him      dad  is  dead             and  got  a  rather  abrupt,how  the  hell  do  you  know?  are  you  a  doctor?  im on  my way.    i  explained   dr  mather  had  said  he  was  gone,   which  rather  shut  him  up  lol          my dad.Geoffrey Cecil Lake   aged   53   rest in peace  dad.

i  cant  pretend  i was  that  close  to  my  father      i  was  always  a  "mummys boy"lol    but  he worked  bloody   hard    and  although  we  were'nt well off   he did his best to provide  for  mum  and  me.      a  good  man,  not  very  demonstrative     but  i know  he  loved  me.      sad  thing  though        and  one  i  bitterly  regret       the  night  before  he died          we  had  had  a  blazing  row.  i  wanted  to buy a motor bike      and  he  did'nt  want  me  too.    daft  row.    but  he died          without  me saying      sorry  dad.   so,   if  any  of  you  have  fallen out  with  your  fathers        don't leave  it  too late,  say  sorry  dad         or  one  day         you  may  regret  it  to.

  take  care  all

21 comments:

funnyface0s0 said...

Hi Mort ....... a touching entry.  I have tears in my eyes and pride in my heart.  We are all remembering our Dad's today.
Luv Jaynee X

jjdolfin9 said...

Very nice father's day entry Mort.  So sorry you had a disagreement before he passed.  I'm sure that haunts you.  I too posted today for my dad who is gone.
Joyce        

frankandmary said...

That was just the sort of argument you'd have at 18. Dad wasn't mad, just protective.  You weren't mad, just spreading your wings. I say no sorry needed. A normal father/son moment. You've more than honored your Dad with all you've done for your Mom. Makes that little tiff totally inconsquential.  You know the things that really matter, Mort, & you are a very good son. ~Mary

woodsrnd694 said...

Hey Bud,

Hope everything is going well been out of touch lately, Really great entry! My father and I never seemed to get along! He passed away last year! Hope your mother is doing well!

God Bless

Randy

jhorky said...

This one got to me.  I experienced much the same as you with my 2nd husband.  Ironicly we had no phone and had to run next door, to use the phone.  I had guilt about his death and Marty losing his dad at 4 years of age.  Heart attack.  Never ever will we forget, Mort.  We truly did do all any one could ask.  Your dad would forgive you but it is so scary at the time. We, you and I will be ok, mort cause we have to.  You are a good man.  Lucy

lanurseprn said...

What a traumatic thing to have to see! I'm so sorry you had to see your Dad die like that. GOD, it's hard enough to lose your parent, but like that? That Dr was obviously incompetent!  Nothing you can do now, though.
Don't worry about the arguement. You were just being a kid. He knew that. I'm sure he didn't think twice about it. He's up there watching you take care of his wife with such love, and he's proud of you Mort. You can bet on it! You are a good son. Don't ever doubt that. He knew that, too.
MUCH love to you,
Pam

mjgm1954 said...

aww mort, so nice of you to share memories of your dad with us. how horible for a young man to experience loosing his dad and the rude doctor! if your dad had seen all the effort and concern from you during these last hours he would have been so proud of you. and  he knew you loved him . all kids and parents have their rows! thats  part of the love you know! i dont care if mine apologize, would be nice but even still i always forgive and welcome them back into my good graces  lol  so glad you finally felt well enough to make an entry, missed you !  june

ally123130585918 said...

Mort I felt really sad for you reading this entry ~ it must have been heartbreaking losing your Dad in the way that you did ~ and after having a blazing row with him ~ I am sure he would have been proud of you the lengths you went to that night to help him ~ I wish I could turn the clock back as my Dad died suddenly and I never got to say Goodbye or I Love You ~ but I think he knew I did ~ Ally x

jeadie05 said...

What a sad entry ,but I can see how hard you tried to save your Dad ,It must have been awful for your Mum and you ,Im sure your Dad would realise you were sorry ,Did you ever get a motorbike ? ...love to you both Jan xx

pamal3 said...

Hey my fav other man. That must of been a nitemare for you to have gone through and coped with all that. I am sure your dad knows you are sorry and totally forgives you. Love Pam xx

cayasm said...

What a thing for you to go through, I can see why you treasure your Mum so much, a sad entry but it serves to remind us that sometimes things said in haste cannot be taken back, but you were only eighteen at the time and I'm sure sure did din't really think anything of it, you were just being a teenager. Amazing what doctors did back then now you have to call them 3 weeks in advance!

Regards to mum

Take care

Yasmin
xx

shrbrisc said...

I am so sorry you had to got thru that I cherish every day good or bad with my dad that is why I don't work much and spend most of my time with him
hugs
Sherry

jmoqueen said...

Awwww Morton (((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) a sad entry xx

Jenny

http://journals.aol.co.uk/Jmoqueen/MyLife

jacsher said...

What a great entry Mort.  You know He did not nor would not hold the Row against you.  Dad's, like the rest of us, sometimes get too worked up over small things, but in the end there is always love for the SON or daughter.
You were fortunate to be there for your Mum.
It is strange how somehow we got by without the conviences.  Probably in your Dad's case the end results would have been the same had he been in the hospital.
I do love the entry though,  True family history.  Hope Mum is resting.
Take care, thanks for the insight from your family.
Jack

oquinn2004 said...

That was a beautiful entry.  My dad has passed on too but I was a daddy's girl.  It has been 10 years but I miss him still so much!!! Thanks for sharing your story....

Liz

shauntanner said...

Hi Mort ... thanks for dropping by ... you are right I lost my dad aged 54 and he never got to meet my daughters ...

regards
Shaun
http://journals.aol.co.uk/shauntanner/Tenthirteengoesforth/

sugerb6 said...

Hi Mort I am so sorry you lost your Dad at a young age. The night my Mom passed away suddenly I had talked to her on the phone two hours before and thankfully I told her I loved her. Sending hugs to you!
Debbie

gitterdunna said...

Thanks for your visit and I'm not bored:) Taking a break from working in the blueberry patch behind my house. Soooo much work but the berries are soooo good.  That's quite a story here about your dad. I still thankfully have mine at 87yrs. Come visit again............alice

jacsher said...

I said earlier this is a great entry.  On another point, thanks for reminding me we are not alone.  I was thinking very narrow.  I know the UK, Canada and Australia also feel the Hate line, but offer much relief to the less blessed countries and people.  Hope you and Mum are in good spirits....  Again thanks for the reminder.
Jack

bojgill4375 said...

Your dad was very young to pass away. Life can very hard on us at times. I lost my dad at 68 with cancer of the liver.  We had a better good relationship, but I should have gone to see him more. He lived 120 miles from me. Thanks for sharing. Have a wonderful weekend. Janie

rdautumnsage said...

I finally get a chance to catch up to you Mort. I've had a hell of a time with my computer of late. I loved the pictures of the flowers in bloom. Congratulations are in order for being one of Mary's Editor picks. As for your Dad thank you dear friend for sharing this story. I believe your dad knew you loved him despite the row the night before. As for my own...he was given a choice his booze or me, he chose the booze...Kinda sad in a way I have a Birthday coming up the first of July. We share the same birthday. He doesn't want anything to do with me, nor has he ever. Sometimes life doesn't give you a choice in those matters. Missed you in my absence hon. (Hugs)Indigo