HOME FOR CHRISTMAS.

Yes,it really is me back,lol.been a while,and i have missed you all.i just had to have a break,and really couldn't see myself starting again.but sometimes it is nice to have somewhere to share life with,facebook,etc.have their uses,and i am still on there,indeed thanks to Guido i am now admin on Facebook (10) Call for Support on Facebook,as i am also on here,Call for Support,so if you know any of our friends in need of moral support,a comment,maybe a prayer,please let any of the admin know.i think Guido made me realise that the spirit of Jland was alive and well,and just how much i missed it.

So,why did i stop?those 2 little initials mainly,M and S.it had become hard for me to concentrate on writing an entry which is interesting,chatty,and that doesn't sound self pitying.still is,lol.but many of my readers have said,we miss you Mort,when are you coming back? and can i thank you all for the many nice comments i have received.so,at this festive time of year,(hence the title) let's play catch up on my life shall we??

Mum is reasonably well,considering she is 90 in january,(and watch out for that post,something special is planned for that milestone.)yes she has bad days,days where she just cannot remember things,gets confused,gets scared.her feet have been reasonably good,her favourite chiropodist is now back from maternity leave,unfortunately we had to cancel her appointment for this past monday as the weather here has been so atrocious,but it is rebooked for 10th january.that carer she had that was so surly and rude has been replaced.i complained rather vociferously to the management at the end of the 2 weeks she was "caring"for mum.on that last friday she spoke a grand total of 16 words to mum,was with us for 7 minutes,and i blew my top.for a few weeks we never knew who we would have the next day,time,or anything.so,at mums review a few weeks ago i explained that mum NEEDS someone who has time for her,who will be here at the same time every day,and who she likes.and i am happy to say that it has been agreed that we only are sent 3 different carers,Michelle who is the main carer,or either Sam,or Sarah.all 3 are actually rapid response carers,and all 3 are lovely,and my mum is happy now.tracey still comes on a Thursday lunch time to see us,and to get mum lunch while i am out.Michelle comes at 7,and she gives mum a good wash,makes time for her needs,has a chat,as do the other 2 ladies.the difference between these 3 carers and the last one is simple.these are CARERS.they know that talking,laughing,taking an interest in their clients,are every bit as important,in fact more important,than just a wash and brush of the hair.Thankyou Michelle,Sam,Sarah,and ok you as well Tracey,lol,bless you all.

I am still getting a bit of angina if i do too much,or rather anything stupid,lol.the MS is worse i suppose,i damn nigh choked to death the other week which scared me.food got stuck across airway.back is........well,not good.pain gets to me at times,but then it does to everyone.i could be a lot worse,and i DO count my blessings.

The biggest blessing has been my lovely girlfriend Myra.we had a MS society dinner dance 2 weeks ago,i got cover for mum for 4 hours. a really great night,with a lovely lady.christmas this year for a change is something i am looking forward to.the lights are all up outside and on the windows,house looks nice.

So,there you have a quick recap.i cannot promise to post regularly,i cannot promise to comment,or even read,your blogs,i just do not have time.but i am always here if anyone ever needs an ear,or if i can help someone.

And on that note,can i just wish you all,A VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS,AND A PEACEFUL NEW YEAR. take care all.xxxxxx

this blog cannot be accessed via facebook anymore,i have removed the link.i have my reasons,and they are mainly why i stopped this blog.

THE END

THIS BLOG IS NOW ENDED FOR THE FORSEEABLE FUTURE,THANKYOU TO ALL MY READERS,ALL WHO HAVE COMMENTED,ALL WHO HAVE BECOME FRIENDS,AND IT IS UNLIKELY I WILL BE READING ANY BLOGS AT THE MOMENT.

all good things come to an end. and caring and sharing has done just that.
take care all, mort xxxx
lucy,and all those who know me on facebook etc.please keep in touch.

IN MEMORY OF 9/11/01.GOD BLESS AMERICA.

9 years ago,on a day in september that the world will never forget,a day that became known as just a date,9/11,the fabric of our society,not just in the States,but in the UK as well,was ripped apart. The world went mad.and nothing has ever been the same since. I remember the awful images of the twin towers burning,and collapsing as though it were yesterday.Those images will remain with me until the day i die.AS THEY SHOULD REMAIN WITH EVERY PERSON IN THE FREE THINKING WORLD. Many good,honest,loving people died that terrible day.

Whatever our religious beliefs,or indeed lack of belief,can someone please explain something? WHY?? WHY DID THOSE POOR INNOCENT PEOPLE DIE? i am not going into conflicts that followed,that is not for me to judge. all i know is,I CRIED ON SEPTEMBER THE 11TH 2001.I CRIED FOR THE LOSS OF LIFE ,THE DEVASTATION CAUSED.

AND I AM PROUD TO SAY,GOD BLESS AMERICA, LAND OF THE FREE. Your sadness and horror was felt here,and tomorrow i shall say a small prayer for those who died.i hope you will all join with me. take care all.

carers but not caring.

Mum has a new morning "carer"( i use the title loosely ) Tracey has changed her hours to be able to take her children to school,and wouldnt be here til after 10.15,and thats plain too late.she will still however do the thursday mid-morning call back,so we will still see her. now Tracey dear,if you read this,because its not on the black journal but in the open so to speak,you had your faults,you were always in a rush,but you and mum got on so well.now,this new one is supposed to start at 8 until 8.30. she started monday with us,we have had her once before,and she frankly is NOT a carer,she arrives at 8.15,and is gone before 8.30.in fact today it was 8.18,and left at 8.27. 9minutes. NINE MINUTES.to give a 89 year old frail lady a wash,cream her back,put voltarol pain gel on her knees. she just stands the far side of mums bed and hands her the flannell. quick slap on with cream,through to me to sign and goes. she told me the first morning that Extra Hands,the company she "works"for does not give the girls any travel time. so she leaves Bale (a small village ,very bad roads)at 8,and has to be in Stiffkey at 8.(plainly impossible as i amaround 8 to 10 miles,from there). so she doesnt get here til 8.15.and we are getting 15 minutes of "care"instead of the 30 mum is supposed to have.she only puts 15 minutes down on the sheet i have in mums care plan. well,isn't THAT handy. i am giving her 2 weeks,and at the end of those 2 weeks i am emailing her firm, and sending copies to my social worker/assessor,AND my MP. tomorrow mum is supposed to have a shower.the care plan clearly says so. now,we are NOT going to ask her to shower mum,and will see if she does.i think i can safely make a bet she will not mention it to mum. this firm she works for,again loosely speaking,ALWAYS has adverts in the local Press,the free papers we get,various posters in shops.they cannot keep staff.if they do have good,decent,hard working,CARING staff,they work them to death by giving them more and more jobs,using staff to try and cover for staff who are ill,on holidays etc. THEY DO NOT HAVE RELIEF CARERS TO COVER. 1 lovely lady who used to come here went as "rapid response",her job was to be on call to cover for any unexpected problems,staff going off sick,etc. they got her doing so much she is now on extended sick leave. and this is a company who provides the majority of elderly and housebound peoples care needs.
Mum is lucky,she has me living with her,but how many lonely,confused,infirm elderly people are there in Norfolk,in East Anglia,in the UK in general,for who that morning carer is perhaps the only face he or she will see until some sullen,uncaring "carer" rushes in at lunch time,heats their food,and rushes off. chatting,laughing,CARING,is all part of the job.OR SHOULD BE.i was once told by the company that "their girls don't have time to chat,if the work is done its off to the next",my reply was,then they are NOT doing the job you are being paid a lot of money to provide.namely CARING.
Please remember it may be YOUR mother or father who needs care,it may be you.the care we provide for our elderly in this so called "caring"country is apalling. poorly paid,poorly trained staff,inept office "managers" all contribute to make care UNCARING. and i have had enough.As a MS sufferer there is always that chance I may need full time care one day,if i do i pray it will not be provided by the company that provides mums "care".take care all.

7 years to thank you all for

Next month i shall have been on AOL for 7 years.this is to thank all the wonderful friends i have made over that period.
I had been wanting a computer for ages,i had a bush internet set top box that allowed me to browse the net using the TV but it wasn't a great success.so,i finally ordered one from my mail order club,along with a desk. now we had just had oil fired central heating installed,the old open fire ripped out,and i had decorated the lounge and hall,papered and painted,2 new chairs,new carpet as the old one now had a damn great hole where the hearth used to be.so i was busy.MS was still 2 initials for the future,although i did have health problems,and in a lot of pain.but i papered,painted,and the day the PC came me and a mate were laying the carpet.the man from the computer company was supposed to deliver it the next week,set it up and give me a demo.instead he unloaded all these boxes,said everything is colour coded just plug n play. quite.anyway,desk installed on new carpet,a mad dash to DIY store to buy a new swivel chair as the new ones i had ordered were far bigger than i thought,switch round of furniture,and i was ready to open the boxes. and it was easy to plug together.even found the on button.which i pressed,it loaded.and??now what. i knew NOTHING about PCs.no manual.no easy guide.nothing.just a box and a screen.what did it do..i had an AOL internet CD-ROM,from some shop.inserted into drive,downloaded,and................internet.signed up for AOL,and i was away. well,as far as the internet went in those first few weeks it was playing backgammon online,odd email from companies i dealt with,but i was a complete novice.very frustrating.and then i found AOLs games had..............texas holdem poker. in those days it was on pogo,and i still play sometimes on there,but it is not as good as in the early days.more like a chatroom with poker.at first i played on my own againt the computer.then one night on my table appeared AngelaB.and you could talk to each other by typing into the dialogue box.and we got chatting."i'm no good at poker" said ange.i was a pretty decent player,having played in the past for real.oh angie.you lying lickle devil,lol.lets just say ive heard her use that phrase many times.somehow after that we always seemed to play a lot together.and i found my first,my longest running friend.and ange,you made me laugh,we rowed,we swore at each other,but my god we had fun.daughters laura and rachel used to moan at her because she used to laugh so much.ada and cissy ange???happy days.then one night,after AOL changed from pogo to its own poker tables which were much more "serious" i was on my own.angela was away,and i was bored.so i went into a chatroom.i had tried them before.and couldn't get the hang of them.so fast,so many people all "talking"at once.bedlam.but that night 6 years ago i went into 50s romance,room1.an "overflow"room,when the main chatroom reached 48 or so,it opened.and that night there were 2 people in it,sue wicke and gem. 2 new friends.who explained about room1.and how there were some nice people used it,and to come back and visit.that was on news year eve.i went in the next night,met swaine,(sue) glen,alas now sadly dead,a nice man,jane,and so many more.over the coming weeks i got to know so many new people,still played poker,but often i was in chatroom.and i want to take this oppurtunity to thank some of you.sue garden,or sue g,any music you want sue could get.lol.sheena,the laughs we have had,been with ade now 3 years i suppose?? purplemist.Lyn,still a lovely friend. i cant play lady in red even now lyn.thanks for being there when i needed you.xxx.the lovely jaynee,bless you hun.so many to list,tanis,or sunbeam as she is known in chatroom,Nina,whose blog got me into the wonderful world of journals,so many more.some lovely.some not so,some down right nasty ones lol. many sadly now gone from AOL.lonewolf,kraftmad,i look at my buddy list and think,yeah,we had some good times.always quizzes,jokes,laughter.many of my best friends on the net came from that chat room.room1. and then one night,4 years ago a dolfin swam in,in those days we all had profiles,mine had 200 or so pictures on it,and this strange person popped in,made some jokes,and left.helen,you have been so much more than just a friend to me.you have been there when i have been at my lowest,when i was diagnosed with MS you helped me. and we still laugh on here nearly every night.thankyou dolfy.you are the best.xx.bernie,sadly we hardly ever talk now,where once we were so close.good friend,and a lovely person. wendy,whose daughter emma's tragic story you know,we have spent many hours chatting. so many names. all my friends. thank you all.
And then. JLAND.nina got me into blogging,she wrote a blog,and i thought i can try that.that story has been told,but........it brought YET MORE friends. yasmin,guido,jan,jeannette,my second mom lucy,herrad,jack,so many more. again,thank you all.
And now facebook has brought even more,yearbook,tagged. names,some faces,some i talk to often,some i hardly know.but i still thank you.you all help me keep going,keep sane.
Being a carer is NOT easy.being a carer with serious health problems much worse.but i manage.because when i log onto AOL,or blogspot,facebook,wherever,i know somewhere i will find one of you good people who will help take my mind off my worries.and i thank you ALL for that.
And now today,7 years down the line. i have someone in my life in the "real world".someone i care a lot for. thankyou for being you.xxxx
So,7 years of AOL.not all good,loss of profiles has meant the drastic decline of chatrooms,facebook etc has taken many more.the loss of Jland,so many people were hurt by that.the loss of our pictures.AOL has been my gateway to the internet for all those weeks,months,years.it brought me all you. my friends online. thankyou,and take care all.

PLEASE NOTE.THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY PEOPLE TO NAME INDIVIDUALLY,BUT YOU ALL KNOW WHO YOU ARE.thanks mort xxxx

MS and me.and maybe you.

MS has been in the news a lot lately,with new treatments being heralded as breakthroughs in the treatment of this evil disease,sativex is an oral spray made from cannabis extract,and is aimed at progressive sufferers like myself.also funding has been announced in the States and Canada in the research of CCSVI,( chronic cerebrospinal venous insufficiency, dear god who thinks these names up.) a condition linked last year by an italian doctor dr.Paolo Zamboni who reported abnormalities in the veins draining the brain and spinal chord in MS sufferers,his ideas have caused widespread debate.also the furious debate about the threat of MS nurses under threat.my own dear lynda is now semi-retired and it looks as though there is a chance she will not be replaced.MS nurses are OUR first line of attack in out treatment of MS,they liaise directly between our consultants,and our GPs,physios,speech therapists,and other help we need.Lynda is much loved by north norfolk MS sufferers.she will be missed by many.
Now,WHY should YOU,dear reader care?yes its very interesting to those of us with MS,but you don't have it.or do you? many people who have MS just NEVER know they have it.some with very vague,faint,symptoms.others it never even causes any concern,and the only time it emerges they had MS is if an autopsy is performed after death. those are the lucky ones,but sometimes it strikes so rapidly. ask wendy,whose lovely daughter emma has been featured in this blog on a number of posts,ask my good friend Herrad,who suffers daily,or her husband and loving carer richie.or my second mom lucy,bless her,whose beloved son alan died.more and more new sufferers are diagnosed daily.100,000 is the new and revised,updated number for MS sufferers in the UK alone,that figure from the MS society,and it is steadily increasing.and every new sufferer needs help.here in north norfolk there is a group,LAMS,which is a lifeline for many.it has been mentioned on this blog,my lovely friend Myra is a volunteer there.it is based mainly in the east of our region,now there is talk of a west branch of LAMS being started up.maybe around Holt area? at the moment it is talk.a lot needs to be looked into.ideas for what people would like are welcomed by roger and his colleagues,so,if you have MS,or are a carer,or you know someone who has it,please.ASK THEM WHAT THEY WOULD LIKE IF IT WAS IN THEIR AREA. what help.amenities,information etc.THEY would like to see in a new MS support group. feel free to comment,or mail,or contact me on facebook,or leave ideas on LAMS facebook site. lastly,why should YOU CARE?? well,i was 55 when i was diagnosed,young children are being diagnosed weekly if not daily.it may be someone you know tomorrow who is diagnosed. it may even be you. and i pray to god it won't be. take care all.

Dear Morton,Congratulations! Anne here, and your blog, Caring and Sharing, wasdetermined to be one of the top resources in the medical field. And so, ithas received our 2010 Top 50 Multiple Sclerosis Blogs award presented byMedical Assistant Schools!You can see your name amongst our winners here at:www.medicalassistantschools.org/top_multiple_sclerosis/#Caring_and_SharingWinners were chosen through a scoring system led by internet nominations,which came from your reader base!You can let your readers know you won by embedding the badge code to one ofthe different awards graphics found at:www.medicalassistantschools.org/top_multiple_sclerosis/badges/.If you choose to accept or decline the award, please let me know.Please do not hesitate to call or email if you have any questions. Manyquestions can be answered atwww.medicalassistantschools.org/top_multiple_sclerosis/about/.Again, Congratulations, and I hope to see your badge soon!Cheers,Anne Holt4252294915medicalassistantschools.org

This was the email i recived earlier today. now i am by nature suspicious,but it looks genuine,i shall accept and see what happens.

STATUS CHANGED.

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.Dr. Seuss American Writer and Cartoonist, b. 1904-1991.



Thanks to a good friend for sending me that. it's true. Now,many of you who are on Facebook,or My Yearbook,or indeed Tagged,and who are on my friends list,just may have noticed i have changed some of my personal information,mainly the fact i changed from being single,to "in a relationship".indeed bloody facebook faced meltdown when i did lol.over 40 comments.cor,you lot aren't half nosey.so,does this mean mort has a nice lady friend in his life? yes.it does. fairly obvious who it is,her dog featured on my last 2 posts.as did her name. Myra. early days,but we are close friends. thanks for all the kind comments about spice.
Being a carer puts a strain on any relationship,especially when both parties are ill themselves,but she understands how things are. we will see,nobody knows what the future holds for us. oh,yes mum has met her.ladies,PLEASE explain how women can have such long animated conversations about.........clothes?????? on second thoughts dont.lol.and,yes mum likes her. so,status changed. take care all.

"I DIDNT THINK IT COULD HAPPEN AGAIN,I WAS TOO OLD,TOO SET IN MY WAYS, I WAS CONVINCED I WOULD ALWAYS BE LONELY,ALL OF THE REST OF MY DAYS" lyrics to "falling in love again" by the late,sadly missed JOHN DENVER.

SPICE IS HOME

SHE IS BACK,!!!!! Myra has just rung me.A lady saw Myras poster in the garage near where she was seen,rang Myra at 7.30 to say,"i have just seen your dog.".as she was getting ready to go look for her,phone rang again,another lady,just seen your dog.so she went with a friend where spice had been seen,and some builders collared spice in a nearby field.lol. to say Myra is happy is an understatement.thanks for all your kind comments,both on here and facebook.Myra is deeply touched by all the concern shown. spice is just snoring blissfully at the moment.WOOF.take care all.

SPICE

Nice dog isn't she??her name is SPICE.and she is a rescued greyhound. she belongs to Myra,a lovely lady i met on the MS course,and who volunteers at the LAMS group.i plucked up the courage to ask her to have coffee with me,and we are good friends now. all i am saying and i don't need comments please. she is a very special.caring lady.and i am proud to know her.

So,why feature her dog on here?well,saturday evening,after what was the hottest day of the year so far here,Myra took spice to felbrigg hall, National Trust Felbrigg Hall, Garden & Park as she does nearly every day.and as normal,she let her off her lead to have a run.just as she did so,some dear soul over the next field fired a 12bore shotgun at pigeons on the field,and spice took off like a bullet.dissapeared into the distance.Myra rang the police and reported her missing,there was a sighting at what is known as the roman camp about 2 or 3 miles away,that was around 8.30 saturday evening,but since then............nothing. Myra has left posters in every village near there,i have posted on facebook,yearbook,missing animal sites,the RSPCA,dog warden,police,everone we can think of has been told. still she is missing.and my friend is hurting.she loves that dog. so,if you who is reading this lives in north norfolk,OR you know of someone who does,or a fellow blog writer who lives here that i dont follow,PLEASE will you help in finding spice by reposting this entry,or sending them a link to it.I hate my friend being sad.like me she suffers from secondary progressive MS,and the stress makes things so much harder.

Also,can i take this oppurtunity to thank all those who have sent mails,messages,and comments on facebook,yearbook,and other sites i have posted spices picture on.so many kind people.lisa our friend from the states on jland offered to repost my status on her site this morning,in case anyone she knows lives in norfolk,or they know someone who lives near felbrigg,or...........and so it goes on. social networking is often villified in the press,facebook is the root of all evil on the net,but this past few days i,and Myra have come to realise just how many lovely caring people there still are on here.the spirit that our old jland was so loved for IS still alive. please will you pray that spice is soon reunited with her loving owner,and that my lovely friend is happy again.thankyou,and take care all.

MemberS welcome.

i have mentioned before on here that LAMS north norfolk,(life and MS) have a site on facebook, Facebook LAMS North Norfolk,well,welcome to the MS societys east anglia regions addition on facebook as well,Facebook M.S. Society - East Anglia Region PLEASE if you are on facebook,and you have MS,even if you aren't from our "region" have a look,and maybe consider joining.the MS society do a wonderful job,and i urge any sufferer of the damn evil disease to join.£5 a year is little enough.the facebook site has links to LAMS,and to the societies website,but here it is anyway,Multiple Sclerosis Society Website - Welcome to the MS Society - Supp & Servic .and finally,lets not forget 2 more sites that are invaluable,the MS trust is also a very good site for information,MS Trust Providing information for people with MS, their family, friends and should take you there.and just one more,an american site i find very good,with many new and informative articles,MS Views and News. better known as stus views. i know many MS sufferers write blogs,can i PLEASE ask any of you who do,or if you know of any blogger who suffers,to please come and join LAMS and the MS society. help fight MS,ON OUR OWN WE CANNOT WIN,TOGETHER WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER.sometimes helping someone else helps you as well. thanks,take care all.

LEST WE FORGET

IN MEMORY OF THOSE KILLED AND INJURED IN A COWARDLY TERRORIST ATTACK ON THE 7TH DAY OF THE 7TH MONTH 2005.AND STILL THE KILLINGS GO ON,STILL TROOPS ARE BEING REPATRIATED IN BODY BAGS.STILL HATRED IN MENS HEARTS AND MINDS. may one day very soon common sense and peace prevail. take care all

A HAPPY 4TH OF JULY TO ALL MY AMERICAN FRIENDS

WISHING ALL MY AMERICAN READERS AND FRIENDS A VERY HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY.GOD BLESS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. LET US ALL PRAY THAT ALL THE TROOPS FROM BOTH USA,AND THE UK,KEEP SAFE. and that peace will prevail.take care all.

GARDEN PICS,2010

the boarder under mums window,busy lizzies,verbena and geraniums

these double petunias were a bargain.

baskets this year are a mix of petunias,double petunias,and fuschias.

yep,they came back.lol.but this year they are still coming as this was taken yesterday.i really need to clean pond,but cant til they leave.bless.

these were picked yesterday, pink champagne peonies and the red roses, from a bush that was here when we moved 18 years ago,and it was old then.the smell of the roses are wonderful.

So,just a few pics to brighten the gloom,the weather is awful,i had to get out of bed at 3am and close my bloody bedroom window,it was perishing,north gale blowing,we had a sea mist yesterday and today there is a fine drizzle,and its cold. have a good time in your own gardens whatever this british summer throws at us. take care all.

A NEW BEGINNING,

Martin,janes husband has started his own blog.Life After Jane: It's been a week. is his first entry as a blogger in his own right.let us all welcome Martin to the wonderful world of Jland. can i just say thanks to everyone who has commented on my last 2 posts,those 2 entries were for jane,because she was my friend. they werent so much for her benefit,but for mine.I had to get rid of the grief i felt.not just for Jane.life has been a bit of a downer lately.
now,the last 2 sessions of my MS group were a success,all enjoyed them.and today i visited LAMS,the life and MS group held in north norfolk. many thanks to roger,laraine and everyone there for making me welcome. and Myra. special thanks to her,for being a great person.i enjoyed it.will i go again?possibly in a few weeks yes. some may say that it can be distressing seeing MS sufferers who are worse than myself,but it really isnt like that.everyone,whatever their problems had a good time.
as i have said,i have had health problems,i am still waiting for the results of the ultrasound scan on heart,and what they want to do.MS plays its nasty little games,my voice goes,swallowing very bad at times. but this blog is back to normal. my thanks to all my readers for sticking with me,let us hope summer wasn't really those 2 nice days last week,lol. take care all.

MEMORIES.

Martin has posted on janes blog,A journey of another kind....: And Finally Her funeral is to be held on the 11th of June.Martin writes of his grief and thanks us for our comments.Please will you visit and leave a last comment for this wonderful lady.I am sure Guido will put a message on Call for Support but this is for Jane. Someone asked me,well meaningly,why her death has upset me so.after all,she died of cancer,not MS like dear Emma,her death was expected,and had been for some time.so why?the answer is in the title of this entry.MEMORIES.jane has always been my heroine on here,i have often commented i was in awe of her,of her courage,her bravery.but there are so many others on here that are as ill,dying,have died.but jane has been a part of my blogging,since i first saw her journal all that time ago.the old Jland we all love and miss.my blog in those days was indeed of caring for mum,of me sharing that with you.then MS was confirmed,and lately it seems to have taken over.as it has my life.the heart attack,back trouble,ill health.all have taken their toll. but Jane was still here.she was fighting her vile disease,so would i.now she has gone. i miss her.but she will be remembered,by me,by many.
i have,as do we all, memories of a happier life,of when i was fit and well.when mum was able to get about without a frame or wheelchair,of having a job i loved,a girlfriend i loved.memories. life deals us blows,people we love change,mothers we thought were invincible grow old,and get frail and forgetful,and scared.and we ourselves get diseases we cant control. and we get scared too.but we still have our memories.and i suppose i mourn the passing of those memories,as i mourn the passing of Jane.another friend lost,no more words of encouagement to cheer me when i am down,in pain.i may need further heart surgery,i am getting angina bad.the MS seems to be getting worse. the pain management consultant has told me he cannot help with the crushed disc,it is too risky an operation to have.so memories sometimes are all we have left to keep us going. and in memory of Jane,i am going to do my best to keep on caring and sharing for some time yet to come.
I wish Martin peace,and joy in his memories of his beloved JANE.
As i wish to all who are in pain,alone,scared,that every one of us find peace and joy in our own MEMORIES. take care all,thanks for being my friends. MORT.

IN MEMORY OF THE BRAVEST LADY I HAVE EVER KNOWN

IN MEMORY OF JANE CATHERINE THOMPSON,18th JAN 1959-30th MAY 2010.

I am in tears as i write this,Jland has lost another of our friends,this time the brave Jane,who finally succumbed to kidney cancer today. A journey of another kind.... was her story. A story of courage,of hope,of fighting against the awful disease she had,and of her fight for funding for Sutent,the drug that gave her,and her beloved husband Martin and family,the extra time they had together.I first came across her journal 2 or more years ago,i saw her link on Pams blog,and clicked it.and sat here in awe.This lovely lady was dying. she had been given maybe 6 months to live,but her journal wasn't self pitying,it was one of hope,of good humour,of her love for her family.There was no "WHY ME LORD?",rather it was more,"well,why not me lord?",yes she has had her bad days,days of despair,but she has made me laugh as much as she has made me cry.She has written of her holidays and cruise,she had a film made about her,about her fight for funding for the drug that had given her that precious extra time to do all those things she wanted to do with Martin and the children.She was featured in YOURS magazine,and i think it is the first time i have ever read it before my mother had even looked at it,lol.And apart from all these things,the one thing that made me come to treasure Jane,to call her my friend was something special.SHE WORRIED ABOUT ME.she has commented on my posts,semt me mails,and always she cared about how I was,how I was feeling,how low I was.how mum was.SHE WAS DYING FROM CANCER.yet she cared about me.as she did about so many more.because she was our Jane.Lately her news has become grimmer and sadder as the cancer spread,and we who have followed her story knew the end was approaching,as did she,but even then she has made me smile with her sense of humour.

Sadly this morning she lost her fight,Jland has lost another friend, Blogspot another blogger,and i have lost someone who has helped me more than she ever knew.It was her journal i used to read when my MS was making me want to give this journal up,when i was feeling self pitying,when the world was against me,it was her journal i read.AND IT MADE ME REALISE I HAD NO RIGHT TO FEEL SELF PITY.Not if Jane could carry on,if she could fight,so could i.

To those of you reading this on Blogspot,or perhaps on Facebook,if you feel that your life is bad,that your illness,personal circumtances,money worries,whatever,make life not worth living,read Janes journal.I defy anyone to not be touched and uplifted by it.JANE IT WAS MY PLEASURE TO ONCE GIVE YOU AN AWARD FOR YOUR BLOG.I NOW DEDICATE THIS,MY PERSONAL TRIBUTE TO YOU,THE BRAVEST,NICEST,LOVELIEST PERSON I HAVE EVER KNOWN, and i am still crying. take care all.

LAMS,MS course,and catch up.ive been away too long.

hi all,sorry i havent posted lately,but i just cant seem to get organised these days. first,i was saddened by the death of bobrobert,my deepest sympathies to steve. The Wheel of Fortuna is a blog i sometimes read,and i gave the MS award to.sadly MS has claimed another life. "complications caused by MS" is still "killed by MS" in my book.and i am so sorry steve.
On a more positive note,meet LAMS.life and MS. the north norfolk branch has its own little site on facebook,its a group run by MS sufferers FOR MS sufferers.any of my readers who are on facebook,Facebook LAMS North Norfolk please drop by and say hi.the group meet on a monday,which at the moment means i cant attend their meetings,so Roger kindly invited me to visit their website,and i joined the "virtual LAMS",lol. i met Roger and the charming Moyra from the group at the MS course i have been attending. i am going to try and swap a "day off" over one week soon so i can go along and meet everyone there. it seems a great group of people.
the course has been interesting,this friday coming is the last,and i shall be sorry when its over.first week we had my MS nurse Linda giving a talk on what her role as an MS nurse is,etc.then after coffee,healthy eating with the dietician for north norfolk. ( as i write this i'm munching on a deep pan meat feast pizza,enough said lol). second week we had a senior physiotherapist explaining just what MS is,what it does,the symptoms,etc.and in the second half "staying active and keeping well" a very informative talk. settles more comfy into chair.( typing hard work) then this last one should have been continence and relationship issues but the speaker had to pull out at the last minute.( zoe,stop sniggering,i know you are.) instead we had teresa who is from the MS Society and who is running these courses,give us a talk on the role of the society,and the work it does. Multiple Sclerosis Society Website - Welcome to the MS Society - Supp & Servic for anyone interested. please consider joining.i think its still £5 a year,which is little enough to pay.details on their website.then Moyra gave a great talk on her MS,how it started,her symptoms,etc.personally i thought she did great, and for the second half, complementary therapies. Now,i am very open minded.i know acupuncture works for many people with different problems,it helped a friend with pain.reflexology,massage,great. and i was looking forward to discovering something that may help to alleviate some of the symptoms. instead of which,we got a sales pitch frankly.the "therapist" spent the whole hour telling us how wonderful she was,how great her indian head massages were,how ear candling would help our ear wax melt (i lost the will to live somewhere round that point) how she was a reiki master,and how we could all make money,(a "business oppurtunity to make some money"!!) by selling the range of diet shakes,overpriced skin care gunk,etc. she was trying to sell at the end.NOT ONCE did she tell us what benefit an MS sufferer could expect from any of these therapies,or indeed that massage is liable to increase fatigue in MS unless its a stimulating massage,( zoe,go and leave the classroom now,lolol) all in all,she was bloody useless.and i am telling teresa exactly what i think this next time.this last session is benefits and employment issues,someone from the CAB is coming to talk.( citizens advice bureau, for my american friends) and finally the speech and language specialist. something i am particularly interested in,as my swallowing and speech are both deteriorating. it has been very good,most informative,apart as i said the alternative therapies,its a small group,only around 8 or 9 attending.2 only just diagnosed.and maybe for 1 in particular,a bit too much information for them to want to know.thanks to Moyra and Roger for inviting me to LAMS,i shall come and see you soon.
mum has had such bad feet,finally the bunion healed,although another 2 toes on her other foot had some strange little sores,gout is suspected.sam the practise nurse,dressed them,and told us to see the chiropodist to see if he could help with anything to take the pressure off that bunion,so i made an appointment.all i can say is,the man is an idiot.his idea was to use a felt on it,which was sticky backed,then wrap it in a dressing,same for the other foot.poor mum could hardly get her feet into the loose fitting slippers she was luckily wearing. suffice it to say,the next morning she was in agony,far too much padding,so tight it had her in tears. took the whole lot off,used antiseptic cream,and a thin dressing. sam was horrified.that bunion was RED when i removed his handiwork,another day or 2 and i am sure it would have split again.not impressed.she should go back this week and see him again.she isn't. we are going to pay a visiting chiropodist i have been reccommended. think it will be money well spent. Now,i haven't been feeling too good. so last wednesday i went and saw the new lady dr.dr.B,as i knew i had yet another chest infection,sure enough i have,on antibiotics,yet again. the fact oil seed rape is now in flower isn't helping matters either.i loathe the damn stuff,fields of acid yellow flowers i can smell miles away. so that was ok,BUT, i also had to tell her about the pains i am getting in my left arm. angina.which seems sometimes to be worse than it was. she was concerned to hear this,so took my blood pressure,listened to heart,and got the nurse to give me an ECG. which looks normal im glad to say,she wanted me to go to the cardiac walk in clinic the next day,to have them check me over,but when she rang them,she was told because i am still under my cardiologist,they couldn't see me.and put her through to jo,my cardiac nurse. she was also worried,so went and told Dr.E who had done my stents.he said he would look through my notes and get back to dr.B. so,i came home.2.30 she rang me.he had rung her.and has decided that perhaps its those 2 thin arteries he was unable to get to before,and as he couldn't do it with an angiogram,he is now going to do some cardiac pressure stress testing???? sounds like fun. anyway,i am on his waiting list for it.the Dr is seeing me this wed.just to check my blood pressure etc.again. i am glad i saw her.i know there is something not right.not enough to get me that worried i would ring 999,but discomfort.
the last few days have been nice,the pots and baskets in the greenhouse are growing well,many in flower.if it keeps like this i shall be putting them out in 2 weeks. having said that we had one hell of a frost last week,it dropped to minus3 celsius.which is bloody cold for late april here. that didnt help,and i am going to buy more tomato plants as i am sure the 6 i had in pots in greenhouse,small plants,have been frosted. got that blue colour that means they copped it.the garden is colourful,and growing away.
i havent read many blogs lately,due to worry over mum,my MS accelerating, feeling tired, and i am sorry to those who i seldom visit,but i do try and pop in and catch up with you all.hope everyone has a good week,soon be may,take care all.
one last thing,thanks to sugar for allowing anyone who wishes to use it, my MS tag i used as an award.so,LAMS please feel free if anyone would like it. thanks to all my readers for lovely comments,and to my american mom lucy,who is a bit poorly herself.you take care my dear friend.and to the rest of you,i wish you peace and pain free days,mort x

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A PEACEFUL AND HAPPY EASTER.ENJOY YOUR BREAK,and dont eat too many choccy eggs.lol.the weather here is awful,bitterly cold wind blowing.got over 400 plug plants i have bought for baskets and containers in greenhouse,and its just too cold for them.having to cover them every night in case it freezes.lost a tray of lobelia because they got frosted. the garden lookin nice,but the daffs are going over so fast.i shall be posting to other journal in next few days.just say that mum is slowly recovering.her toe healed at last,took her to see nurse last week,dressing off but the bunion is still very sore and swollen from gout,and we are worried it may split again.made appointment for chiropodist in 2 weeks time.

i have a course over the next 4 friday afternoons on living with MS.its being held in north norfolk for the first time.MS society hosting it,and my lovely MS nurse linda rung and asked me to attend. looking forward to it,different experts every week.congatulations to LYNDA HINDS,MS nurse for north norfolk in receiving a lifetime achievement award from the MS society.well deserved lynda.not just because we went to school together lol.

hope everyone is well,sorry but i am not reading blogs so often,had lot on mind.thanks to herrad for the beautiful blogger award, and please will anyone who would like it help themselves.assume if you are reading this that you deserve it.take care all.

im one of heinz varieties,lol

and just in case you are thinking,morts finally cracked under the strain,heinz 57 varieties,or,ITS MY 57TH BIRTHDAY. thanks to all my friends for their kind comments on facebook and yearbook,as i just told a lovely friend,age is just a number.shame the damn number is getting so big lol.
mum still is in a lot of pain,that toe will not heal,and her legs have got so weak,arthritis and not being used.the OT did come out and gave her exercises to do each day which help a bit.
hope everyone is keeping well,i will get round to reading your blogs soon.take care all.

THANKS TO OLIVE FOR THIS.

THIS HAS BEEN DOING THE ROUNDS FOR A WHILE.I THINK IT NEEDS TO BE READ BY EVERY CARER,EVERY NURSE,ANYONE WHO CARES FOR AN ELDERLY PARENT.
It made me cry.because sometimes i forget.


Sometimes we all need to be reminded that there are others out there who need a listener.


CRABBY OLD MAN

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in North Platte , Nebraska , it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Missouri .

The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.




Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses?. . . .. . What do you see?
What are you thinking . .. ……. When you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . . . . . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . With faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . . .. The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . ..The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . .. You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . . .. . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . . . . With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . ……..Who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . . …With wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . A lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . .. . . That I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . ……I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . …. And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . …………My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . …….With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . . . . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . To see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, ………….babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . .My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . ….My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . ………. Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . Young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . . . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . …… . And nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . … Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . … Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . .. ……. Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . …… My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . …...I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . Life over again.

I think of the years, all too few ... Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . .. . . …That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . Open and see.
Not a crabby old man . . . Look closer . . . See ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet
an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.

We will all, one day, be there, too!

PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM

The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched.

They must be felt by the heart.


AND SOMETIMES IT GETS FORGOTTEN THAT THAT OLD MAN OR WOMAN SITTING IN THEIR CHAIR,PERHAPS SCARED AND BEWILDERED WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THEM,WERE ONCE YOUNG.WERE ONCE ACTIVE. take care all.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A LOVELY VALENTINES WEEKEND. IT IS NOT JUST FOR LOVERS,IT'S ALSO TO LET YOUR FRIENDS KNOW THAT YOU CARE FOR THEM.

Mum is still in bed,nurse has been today and redressed it,slowly looking better,antibiotics are starting to work.she did come through yesterday,started to walk,or rather hobble,through into lounge,but her knee locked solid.the arthritis is really bad in it,and as it has not been used,it has got stiff,so i wheled her through in wheelchair. i have felt absolutely awful ever since coming out of hospital last week,my wrist had a massive bruise and i have ached all over.think i caught a bug,as i have really had no energy,which is why the private blog is still unfinished.i will get it done in the next few days,only just starting to feel human again,lol.take care all.

news of a dear friend

pamal3 of Almost 40! wants all her friends to know she has had the operation,and is now at home. being pampered by husband and daughter. has got large scar on her neck with 7 staples in,which she should have removed next week.hope all goes well my friend,and we look forward to your return to blog.
Mums toe is in a hell of a mess.nurse came again tuesday and redressed it,no problem.mum has been feeling better,yesterday i nipped out to do the shopping and another nurse came.didnt have the usual dressing the other put on so used a padded smaller one.i have just had to change it myself,as it had been bleeding,it was far too tight and the iodine soaked gauze they use on it first had dried out.chafing. looks to me like an abcess now. poor mum. i hate her to be in pain. the new blog has now got a name,all will be revealed soon. those interested will be contacted by mail.
i went and had the angio on heart done tuesday,worried about leaving mum but after cancelling twice before i had no choice,tracey came back mid morning,(i went at 10am ) and carol sat with her all afternoon. another friend brian got her tea so she had plenty of company.
frankly it was a complete fiasco. i got in hospital at 11.10,went up to ward,saw staff nurse,no bed at moment for you,but wait in day room,soon be one. another chap waiting in there,my age maybe bit older.also has secondary progressive MS,was in for a pacemaker to be fitted,and frankly,in a hell of a lot more pain with his MS than i am. and it brought home how fast one can go downhill with the damn disease.we sat and chatted,it got to 12.30,neither of us had been offered a drink,no lunch,no tea,no water to take tablets with.we finally had to go and ask for a jug and 2 glasses.he went off at 2 while i sat and waited,eventually a nurse came and put a wristbad on,filledd the normal forms in,explained that the bed i should have had was occupied due to the previous patient,in for same angio,wouldnt stop bleeding.at 3.15 the angio porters suddenly went past,saw me,came in,said morton??? we have been looking everywhere for you.!!!!!! they wheeled me down to angio suite on a wheelchair,much swearing as well,lol.i got changed into gown and paper pants in the waiting area,least a bed was there.my back was crippling me,i had been sitting for 4 hours.as no canula had been fitted,which it should have,and as the registrar was only going to look and check to make sure stents in place and all ok.i was asked if i would be ok,if i didnt need a sedative canula wasnt needed.i didnt thanks.in i went,laid down,connected up,and off we went angio number 5. GOOD NEWS. all seems ok.arteries look pretty clear,angina may be being caused by 2 minor arteries,and tablets will help that.so no stent.back onto ward,told i could go home if bleeding had stopped at 7.after a vile meal of gristle and potato pie (well it wasnt meat lol) i FINALLY got a coffee.the first damn drink i had had apart from some luke warm water earlier. the first time she took air out of the plastic pressure bandage it bled.everywhere. but at 6.30 she finally removed it,and put a dressing on. i was allowed to leave at 7.straight to hospital shop to get sandwich and drink,lol. brian came and got me and i was indoors by 9. mum very glad to see me.me very glad to see comfy chair and later my bed. that is the worse i have ever been treated.the nurses were just rushed off their feet. no excuse to forget where a patient was,or to forget to take him water.not good.at least i know heart seems to be in good shape,and i wont have to have any more work done on it.take care all.ty for all the messages on facebook and mails.

what a MeSs

i went to cromer hospital to see dr.C.the MS consultant.running dead ontime too i may add,awful wet and dreary day.lucky to get a space just outside main building.i went in and found linda my MS nurse.dr.C asked how i felt i was from last year,and told him around 25% worse.my swallowing now can be very awkward,etc.now linda had already told me he is the kind of dr.you either love or hate.direct is being polite.he looked at me and said,well morton,i am afraid your MS is going as i expect it too,as the nerve sheath is worn away,you will experience more problems,however because of your age i don't expect it to turn primary. like i was too old to have MS according to last neurologist??poor linda was making OMG faces at me as he was speaking lol.anyway,we shook hands as i left,i shall see him a year from now,i am increasing baclofen to another 1 a day,make appointment to see speech therapist about swallowing,etc.linda walked out with me and whispered i told you so,lol.are you ok mort?yeah,actually i am.i am not completley daft,i know well enough what can and may happen.one day at a time.i arent at that stage yet.
monday i had to be in norwich at hospital by 10.30,and was there at 10.plenty of time.........except.I WAS AT THE WRONG DAMN HOSPITAL i assumed it was my normal hospital.i was at the norfolk and norwich.actually i should have been at what was the old west norwich,now norwich community hospital.it didnt help the first idiot i asked where pain management was,sent me right round side to oncology.luckily i showed the nice receptionist the letter.so i had to ring them,lie through my teeth i waqs stuck in traffic and made my back to where i should be.half hour late.dr.was ok about it,he had seen another patient in front of me,he showed me the scan on my back,and discussed what we could do about it.basically...............until i am finished with the blood thinning tablets i am on for heart in november not a lot.putting me back on gabapentin,a drug i first was on to help with pain before the MS was diagnosed.it may help to dull the nerve pains i am getting from the prolapsed disc.later i may need injections into spine but frankly he thinks i am unlikely to be allowed surgery because of heart.what a day monday was.i didnt get home til gone 1,mum is still in bed.i rang dr.again tuesday as the pain was so bad,he came out and gave her colchicise tablets,a powerful remedy for pain relief of gout,quite dangerous and she only has 12.did seem to help.but last night things took a turn for the worse,as she got out of bed to use commode last thing,her bunion,which she has had for years,and which had swelled even larger due to the gout.........split wide open.blood everywhere,on carpet,sheets,poor mum.luckily i had a dressing from last time she had trouble,and quickly applied it,wrapped it well,and the bleeding stopped. rang surgery,and district nurse came out this afternoon,washed and re did it for mum.funnily enough she said as it burst the pain has eased a lot.still very bad,but i think she had an infection in that toe.please god she is on the mend.
now,back to social services. a very nice lady came to see me yesterday.(MPs office has beeen in touch by the way,i am writing a full report and mailing it to them next week.) she told me because i had rung again saying it was urgent i had gone from pending to the top of a very long list.anyway,we discussed mum,me,my MS,heart.she was astounded and very annoyed i had had my half hour morning call reduced to 15 minutes,agreed mum needed a further call in the evening,and is going to see what she can do. there is a provision now for direct payments,so i can hire a dedicated carer/carers to help.something to think about, a very useful meeting.
now due to various reasons,i am going to write more about this,and mums care,in the future.but in another blog. a private one,please mail me at mortonlake@aol.com giving your email addresses if you wish to be a reader. the reason for this will be revealed on that blog.wont happen for day or 2. think of it as the black journal you can read,lol.
thanks for all the get well wishes to mum,and for me. take care all. as i write this it has been snowing again,wind frost,bitterly cold. roll on spring.

coincidence or not.

If i was of a nasty suspicious nature,which of course i am not,much,i would be rather cynical about the phone call i had this afternoon at 3.45. hello,mr.lake? this is V from social services,i understand you enquired about having a carers asseessment? i did yes, well,i am not the carers assessor,i do all the assessments for care needs.but i will be happy to come and see you next week,thursday at 10.30 be ok??oh yes;lol. now,i have had no word from MPs office,they did say they were so short staffed due to illness,but its rather a co-incidence that after i had rung MP social suddenly found this assessor. must have been just lying around the office doing nothing.lol.anyway,she is coming to see me,so hopefully i can get a care plan sorted for mum if i do need to be in hospital or away for any length of time.taken 4 months,4 phone calls,2 letters so far.we will see.
Mum continues to have the most awful pain in her feet due to the gout,and has been in bed all day again today.most unlike her.i have to go to cromer hospital tomorrow afternoon to see dr.C my MS consultant,i hope she will be ok on her own until i get home.think i can get brrian to call in.hope so. on monday i have to be at norwich by 9.30 for pain management clinic for back,tracey is going to come back mid morning,i shouldnt be too late.hope the tablets will have helped ease her pain by then.
I am tired,i ache,and my MS has gone ballistic.interesting little side effects,poor balance i notice,hands dead,blurry vision.always the same when i am tired and worried.and angina not helping.but we carry on.take care all.mort and thanks for all the kind comments and advice.

return of the gout

for a change no trying to be witty for a heading.mainly because i havent had a lot to smile about lately.after going down with the bug i felt awful,but it didnt last long thank goodness.next day i was feeling better.i have heard from hospital,and go in feb.2nd.same time.
on friday i was going to take mum to fakenham shopping,but just as she was getting ready she came over dizzy,and felt ill.making sure she had everything she needed to hand i nipped off and did the shop alone.she seemed ok.saturday she was fine,sunday i cooked a lovely roast chicken,mum went to bed,and all was well.until...............2.00am i heard her crying.she had come up in huge hives,blisters almost.rubbed some E45 on and she tryed to sleep.bad night for both of us.i was worried when i saw her feet the next morning.the gout had returned with a vengeance.and her poor hands,the fingers looked like sausages,so swollen were they.i decided to ring the doctors,and explained what was wrong,dr.M soon came out.he thought she had had an allergic reaction to something she had eaten,and it had also seemed to trigger the gout. he decided she should go on a tablet for the gout,and i went and got these for her at 4.
that was monday.its now wednesday and she has been in bed all the while,her feet are so painful she cant walk even a step.thank goodness for the commode.i just get it as close to bed as it will go.at least the itching has stopped,and i think the swelling in joints slowly going down.i hope so,as it is awful to see her in so much pain.
now back in september i asked for a carers assessment,i really do need more help looking after mum now,i am not well,there is a good chance i will have to go in to hospital,maybe for some time,so asked for assessment so a care plan ccould be put in place. september 18th. i had the forms i sent returned,with a note that the assessment officer would be in touch. not a word have i heard,so on the 9th december i rang.asked to speak to the man who had signed the letter in september,only to be told they had never heard of him.!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it transpired he had moved to fakenham office,but it does say much about adult social services in norfolk.anyway,i rang the number they gave me,spoke to him,explained i was not well,heart and MS etc.he promised the officer would ring me "in a day or 2".again,not a word,so today i rung,yet again.oh,he said,there is only one assessment officer at the moment and hse is so busy,i will tell her you rang and.............whoaaaa sonny.i calmly explained there was every chance i may need surgery soon,and a care plan MUST be in place as soon as possible.he said,well i will tell her it is an emergency,she will ring you later. did she??no.so,i have rung my local MPs office,thats member of parliament for my american friends,and his secretary will be in touch in day or so.and the lady i spoke to was horrified.as it is a general election year,somehow i think my MP will gleefully take on my case.and my local paper has been doing a series called "WE CARE" about carers day to day lives. i think,social services does NOT care may make them a good story.
it is time i got nasty.i am worn out,i feel ill,the MS has been so bad all winter,my hands are completely dead,i have fell down 3 times,and with all the worry about heart and back i have had enough.i need help,and i am not getting it.i can no longer rely on neighbours to help me when i am in hospital,tracey only comes back 1 morning a week,so on the tuesday i go in she will come and make mum a cup of tea,i am going to ask carol to swap days if she can so she will be with mum in the afternoon,but a plan needs to be in place if i do go in for longer.we will see what happens.i shall keep you informed.take care all,keep warm and well.

thhink this says it all.thanks to christine for sending me it

Dear Lord, Every single evening As I'm lying here in bed, This tiny little Prayer Keeps running through my head:
God bless all my family Wherever they may be, Keep them warm And safe from harm For they're so close to me.

And God, there is one more thing I wish that you could do; Hope you don't mind me asking, Please bless my computer too.
Now I know that it's unusual To Bless a motherboard, But listen just a second While I explain it to you, Lord..

You see, that little metal box Holds more than odds and ends; Inside those small compartments Rest so many of my friends.
I know so much about them By the kindness that they give, And this little scrap of metal Takes me in to where they live.

By faith is how I know them Much the same as you.
We share in what life brings us And from that our friendships grew.

Please take an extra minute From your duties up above,
To bless those in my address book That's filled with so much love.

Wherever else this prayer may reach To each and every friend,
Bless each e-mail inbox And each person who hits 'send'

. When you update your Heavenly list On your own Great CD-ROM,
Bless everyone who says this prayer Sent up to GOD.Com Amen



GOD BLESS ALL MY ONLINE FRIENDS.thanks for all your kindness and comments,tc all.

HOME SICK

i cant win. i got up this morning at 5,made a cuppa,sat here and read mails,sorted everything out,made some toast,felt bit queasy,worry about hospital ?hmmm,took mum tablets, all ok,apart from feeling a bit ill.tracey came and went,mum having breakfast,and it hit. oh dear god. i shall spare you the details. explosive diarrhoea. i had a shower,had to go to shop to get mums pension,and as i stood in there,with a scarf over face,just in case it was something nasty and not just a one off,i knew i was soon going to be sick,just made it home.violently sick.and well,going to draw a veil over the rest.suffice it to say i have this damn novovirus going around,my hospital has actually cancellled all visitors,so when i rang admissions,yet again having to cancel for the second time,the cardiac nurse i spoke to said,i had it last year,awful,thanks for keeping away.it will be rescheduled as soon as possible.rang pam,sent txt to tracey who was coming back mid morning,and will cancel the rest of week later,rang carol,mum rang chris,painted UNCLEAN KEEP OUT on front door,ok last bit not true,lol. i can honestly say ive never been so ill in all my life.where i caught it i have no idea.but its made me feel awful,and.........just been ill writing this.oh well,better luck next time. take care all,thanks for your lovely messages,i shall keep them for when i do go.lol. keep warm,safe and well,mort.

hospital time

i go into hospital tomorrow,tuesday,got to be in by 11,30,pam picking me up at 10.over an hours drive.i am having another angiogram.this was scheduled,but at the assessment 3 weeks ago i told the cardiac nurse ive had pains in my left arm, i had changed the beds that monday.and i had felt ILL. i was so close to dialling 999 and calling for ambulance. when she heard this she had an ECG and blood tests done immediately.ECG was similar to the last,just a slight blip on the chart,which may mean i had a very slight heart attack.or the stent may have moved.i should have gone in last week,but weather has been so awful,and pam had such a bad cold i darent risk it.i have a 35 mile drive,at least 15 of which are on untreated roads. and we had to be there at 7.30.so instead i go in tomorrow,but i am having to keep in overnight.i think dr will put another stent in if needed.there and then. however if damage has been done,or arteries are worse it will mean major bypass surgery at papworth hospital. mum will have company most of tomorrow,tracey coming back,carol in afternoon,chris in mporning,brian night.ive made a shepherds pie for there tea,so she should be ok.hope to be home wednesday sometime.thanks to guido for putting it on call for support. Jland still lives.thanks for all the messages on facebook.i will let you know how it goes.lucy,stop worrying,dont nag,im ok.lol. take care all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MUM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM.89 TODAY. BORN 3 JAN.1921. AND HAS BEEN THE BEST IN THE WORLD TO ME. and now i care for her. what goes around,comes around. its a pleasure and an honour to care for her.just wish i could take away the pain and confusion she suffers.but thats beyond all the love in the world. take care all,mort xxxx