Sunday, 23 December 2007

Down but not out

Funny,all  this  time   i  been  so  sure  i  had  MS,  was  relieved  as  i  said  to  finally get  it  confirmed.   and  i  was.    no  problems.   until.   last  night  i  went  on  the  MS Societies  web  site,  thought  i  would   pay  it  a  visit.   it  is  very  good,and  i  saw  a  recently  diagnosed  pack      and  a  booklet  about MS,free,and  ordered  both,also  asked  for  details  to  be  sent  about  joining.  i  was  fine,until  i  was  filling  in   the  order  forms           and   had  tears  rolling  down   my  face.    basically  dear  readers,i  howled  me  eyes  out.       so  much  for  being  brave  mort.         it  just  hit  me,as  i  read about  this  nasty  disease,i  really  DO  have  it.  and  it  scares  me.       my  mum  relies  on  me  for  evrything,thats what   being  a  carer  is  all  about.   caring.   what  will  the  future  hold  now??     i  already  know  that  i  am  worse  than  4  years  ago,my  last  scan.   much  more  obvious  now.        so  i  cried.   not  just  feeling  sorry  for  myself,self  pity  is  NOT  me.     but  for  mum.   because  she  knows  i'm  not  feeling  well,and  worries  about  me,and  she  shouldn't  have  to.   bless  her  she  is  in  so  much  pain  herself,this  just  one  more  pain.

  still  feeling  bit  down,but  determined   to   carry  on  as  usual.  christmas  day,i  will  cook  lunch      and  make sure  mum  enjoys  it.      

   shopping  tomorrow,not  much to  get,just some  fresh  vegetables,  try  and  find  mum  a  little  something  for  xmas  morning,  and   soon  it  will  be  over  for  another  year.  take  care  all         may  you   all  find  peace,joy,love  and  happiness  this  christmas,and  in  the   new  year.    morton  

5 comments:

cayasm said...

awww mort, I'm sorry about all of this it just been one thing after another lately, you must go and see idf you can get some assistance as your Mum needs care and now so do you.
I won't be back until Friday , have a lovely time.
you really do a great job you know.

Love
Yasmin
xxx

cayasm said...

awww mort, I'm sorry about all of this it just been one thing after another lately, you must go and see idf you can get some assistance as your Mum needs care and now so do you.
I won't be back until Friday , have a lovely time.
you really do a great job you know.

Love
Yasmin
xxx

jeanno43 said...

I am so sorry Mort.  I can understand how you are feeling. I was the same when I got my cancer diagnosis - you look into the future afraid of what it will hold.  But my friend, we cannot change anything, we can only carry on and do the best that we can, trust that things will be better than we fear.  Treatments have improved so much in many different diseases.
I hope you and your Mum have a happy Christmas and know that you have friends here.

http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/

pharmolo said...

Just carry on for as long as you can, Mort, without forgetting yourself. Do not be ashamed to ask for help. That's what it's there for, for people who have your illness. Have a Merry Christmas and a good 2008

Guido
http://journals.aol.co.uk/pharmolo/NorthernTrip/

funnyface0s0 said...

Hello Mort, your feelings are one of being overwhelmed and shocked.   I'm sure the MS society will be a great help not only to you but to your Mum too.
Take care - Luv Jaynee x