A PRAYER FOR THE NEW YEAR

Prayer for the New Year'

Grant me the strength from day to day,
To bear what burdens come my way
.Grant me throughout this bright New Year
More to endure and less to fear
.Help me live that I may be
From spite and petty malice free.

Let me not bitterly complain
When cherished hopes of mine prove vain,
Or spoil with deeds of hate and rage
Some fair tomorrow's spotless page.
Lord, as the days shall come and go
In courage let me stronger grow.

Lord, as the New Year dawns today
Help me to put my faults away.
Let me be big in little things;
Grant me the joy which friendship brings.
Keep me from selfishness and spite;
Let me be wise in what is right

.A happy New Year! Grant that I

May bring no tear to any eye
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I've played the friend,
Have lived and loved for others here

,And made of it a happy year.


grateful thanks to sybil for this lovely prayer.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY FRIENDS ON BLOGSPOT,AOL,FACEBOOK,TAGGED,YEARBOOK,MYSPACE.
I HOPE 2010 IS A GOOD ONE FOR US ALL..
AND THAT THERE MAY BE PEACE AND UNDERSTANDING THROUGHOUT THE WORLD.
take care all,thanks for being my friends. mort

A NEW AWARD.

MANY GRATEFUL THANKS TO SUGAR,FOR THIS GREAT TAG.I ASKED HER IF SHE COULD MAKE ME ONE FOR MS AWARENESS.I THINK SHE DID MORE THAN I EXPEECTED OR HOPED FOR.BLESS YOU SUGAR.

SUGAR'S OTHER PLACE is where you will find tags of such quality and design,it frankly makes me jealous,lol. so,why did i want it?? well,there are so many people whos lives have been devastated by MS,i wanted a tag that was cheerful,to show hope of one day finding a cure,a message that people with the disease are NOT alone,and for those who have lost loved ones like lucy and wendy,to know that their loved ones are not forgotten.

I AM MAKING THIS INTO AN AWARD FOR THOSE BLOGS,AND PEOPLE WHO HAVE HELPED TO BRING AWARENESS OF MS. AND WHOSE LIVES HAVE BEEN DEVASTATED BY THE BLOODY EVIL DISEASE.

WILL THOSE PICKED PLEASE PASS IT ON TO WHOEVER THEY THINK DESERVE IT,hasn't got to be someone with MS,the choice is yours.

firstly lucy,What is left of a whole new life,whose beloved son alan died from complications caused by MS.my american mom.lol.bless you lucy for worrying about me.

herrad,Access denied-living with multiple sclerosis, fighting the fight.keep in their girl.pass it to richie from me .

The Wheel of Fortuna is a blog i seldom read,but i know many of you do,and from the entries ive read,is a worthy recipient.

Tales of Life with Multiple Sclerosis, amelia.trying to come to terms with what having MS means.and the effect it has on ordinary peoples lives.still manages to live her life to the full even if she does overdo it.lol.oh yes you do amelia.lol

lastly jeannette doesn't have MS,but has had cancer and many health problems.and who has constantly been there for me commenting when ive posted,and whose blog is one of the best ive read. Outside - Looking In thankyou jeannette.

PLEASE PASS THE AWARD ON,FEEL FREE TO SNAG THE TAG,SUGAR MADE IT FOR US ALL.

WISHING EVERYONE A HAPPY,AND PEACEFUL 2010. tc all.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS

WISHING ALL MY JOURNAL FRIENDS,ESPECIALLY LUCY,MY SECOND MOM,A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS,AND MAY 2010 BE GOOD FOR US ALL. thankyou all,for the lovely comments left,your kindness,and encouragement.weather has been awful,over 8 inches of snow which has been lying around for a week,roads have been lethal.so bad i cancelled the pain management clinic at hospital for back.no way was i going 35 miles,15 of which on untreated B roads.i hope everyone has a lovely,peaceful and happy christmas.let us remember our troops,both in iraq and afghanistan,from here in the UK,and from USA and other countries.take care all.mort.

christmas lights 2009

only a small tree indoors.no room lol

mums bedroom window

along the front boarder.

santa on a swing is now 8 years old lol.

mainly rope lights this year.all multi function.the santa to the right is under a balloon.its actually like an umbrella.and nearly takes my fingers off every time.

the snowflakes are static cling,peel off after and keep.4 years old now.lol

the door wreath.and YES i did make it myself. did discover that very prickly holly,and blood thinning drugs do NOT mix. well,as promised these are a few of this years photos,im quite pleased how they look.feeling a bit better today,cough receding at last.take care all.

coughs and sneezes..........

spread diseases.in mine and mums cases,colds and for me a bad cough,and now chest infection.and why?all because a daft idiot on a neighbour," just popped in to see how you are",with a streaming bloody cold,sneezed and coughed all the time she was here.not happy.lol.ive had 2 lots of antibiotics,and the last ones my dr.tried me on a stronger one than normal.bit too strong.an hour after i took the first one i was VIOLENTLY sick,and proceeded to be the same every 30 minutes or so for the next 7 hours. back to normal ones.i am sorry,i just haven't been feeling well enough to write,or even read blogs.we have both had flu and swine flu jabs, so hopefully will escape anything worse.i do wish people would be more thoughtful when they have colds.and because ive felt so ill,the MS symptoms are that much worse.i can no longer feel anything in my hands,im getting the "electric shocks" sensations in the night,and generally feel rotten. however,life has to go on,ive made an effort this year and put the xmas lights up outside,many were thrown out as they had got passed the best,not done the lounge window,but mums bedroom window has been done.i will try and take pics soon.


i have hospital next tuesday about back.i should have gone last month.i got ready that wednesday,was up at 4.20,dressed had breakfast,woke mum at 6 as usual,she even got up before tracy arrived,i was showered,shaved and left the house at 7.15 to be in norwich by 8,30. i got in car,throwing appointment letter on front seat,started car,selected reverse,started to back down slope when.............my eye caught sight of that letter.i was sure it was wednesday.i knew it was wednesday.id even bloody checked what time i had to be there on the sunday,only........i actually SHOULD have been ther that MONDAY, how i made such a stupid mistake i have no idea.suffice it to say i had to go back in and apologise to poor mum for dragging her out of bed,lol.rung the hospital,explained,and am rebooked in for next tuesday.and yes,i checked.lol.on the 30th i have to have an assessment,as i am having another angiogram done on the 5th january.this is to check the steent i had put in.and at the end of january i have an appointment with the MS consultant. i am thinking of pitching a tent there lol.

many thanks to jeannette,Outside - Looking In - Jeannette's Jottings for the above award.according to what i was told,im supposed to say why i started blogging,and pass it on to 5 blogs that mean a lot to me,and who i think deserve it.well, i only did a post recently why i started caring and sharing.i was waiting for an assessment.carers.and decided to vent spleen lol.been here ever since.as a post note,i am waiting a new carers assessment.and have been for the past 2 months.3 phone calls,nothing changes,lol. anyway.im sorry but i cant pass it on via links,i dont have the blog urls on this laptop.but im giving it to LUCY,JANE,HERRAD,JEANNETTE (you didnt say i couldnt jeannette,lol)those 4 are the 4 i comment on.one more is private blog,PAM. jane as you all know is seriously ill,A journey of another kind, lucy,well lucy puts me to shame.herrrad,to say thanks for the awards she gave me,jeannette,because she has written some of the best entries ive read.pam,oh boy.my friend in america,because she makes me smile even when writing about sad things.you have or will have emails from me soon.go and do thou like wise. ok you excused jeannette.lol.im sorry but i dont have the patience to find your urls,but ive done my best.

lastly,i wish every reader,A VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS,AND A PEACEFUL,AND JOYOUS NEW YEAR. whether i continue writing frankly is debatable.this has taken me well over 2 hours to do,and i find it increasingly harder to concentrate.take care all.i wish you all the very best in your lives.thankyou for reading,mort.

THANKSGIVING WISH

WISHING ALL MY GOOD FRIENDS IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA A VERY HAPPY AND BLESSED THANKSGIVING. KEEP SAFE AND WELL,ESPECIALLY MY SECOND MOM LUCY.TAKE CARE ALL,mort xx

LEST WE FORGET.

ON THE 11TH HOUR,OF THE 11TH DAY,OF THE 11TH MONTH 1918 THE WAR TO END ALL WARS ENDED.ALAS IT WAS NOT THE END OF WARS,KILLING OF INNOCENT MEN,WOMEN AND CHILDREN.AND STILL IT GOES ON TODAY.PLEASE,AT 11 AM PAUSE,THINK,REMEMBER THOSE WHO GAVE THEIR LIVES,SO WE MAY LIVE.2 MINUTES SILENCE SEEMS A SMALL PRICE FOR US ALL TO PAY.

"At the going down of the sun,and in the morning,we WILL remember them."

take care all

2 years on.we progress

CARING AND SHARING WAS 2 YEARS OLD ON 21ST OF OCTOBER. and i forgot,lol.says a lot i think.what started out as a journal about me caring for mum has turned into a journal about my health problems.but then that is what life is about.change. a year ago jland finished,and many gave up blogging.i nearly did myself.but sometimes its good to put your thoughts down.clears the mind.

Yesterday i went and saw Linda my MS nurse.she has had a move to Cromer,seaside town on the coast.17 miles from me.it has been so warm these past few days it was lovely to drive along with the window down.late october and temperatures nearly reaching 20c.i found her new place,a very nice rehabilitation and convalescent home.lindas even got a decent sized office,which she has soon filled lol.i explained i had been getting a lot of pain from the MS,optic neuritis and neck pains.we had a long talk,and said that basically there is nothing much they can do for me.my MS can now be called secondary progressive.i always have some symptoms,often a lot,and it is progressing.I.E.getting worse.but the good news is that she is pretty sure it wont go to anything worse.mainly due to my age.so lucy,stop worrying.i know you.lol. the reason i cant have any different tablets is because of the heart meds i am on.which i knew.i go to see Dr.C in january,and linda will be in touch with him before then to bring him up to speed about my heart problems,and also the back.i go 11th november to discuss if i am going to try injections in the vertebra,or maybe fusion of 4 vertebra.

Unfortunately it seems i am still getting angina,albeit not so bad,so what will happen when i see the heart specialist im not sure.we shall see.

And so to the start of my 3rd year of a journal writer.and ive come full circle.because i am waiting for yet another carers assessment,just as i was 2 years ago,they were supposed to have been in touch long before now.i feel a phonecall will be needed lol.mum went to the chiropodists monday,a nice young man,lol,did her feet.the gout has returned as it is prone to do,and he dressed her feet for her and generally made a good job of treating them. she is getting worse,memory wise,forgets the names of things,gets confused. gets scared if i arent here.and yes,its got a lot harder for me to cope.i have asked for an extra call at night,to help her get undressed and ready for bed,but i am still waiting to hear.while i can i am her carer.there is no way that is going to change.but i do need more help.whether i get it??we shall see in the coming year ahead.i do apologise to you my readers,i often dont read your blogs,often even poor lucy gets missed.but i am still going to write in this tatty old journal,bit dogeared and worn though it is,not so often as i did,but if there is something to share,then share i will. because i realised only just recently,i do the sharing,and you,the new jland,my fellow blog writers and readers,you do the caring.and i thank you all. take care all.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO YOU ALL.

its just not fair

Sugar has already posted on Call for Support but i am adding my call as well.many of you know jane,a lot because i have mentioned her often in the past. bad news from her loving husband Martin,she has broken a leg and is in hospital, A journey of another kind....: JANE'S HAD A BRAKE !! please,please,visit her blog and leave martin,and jane a message of support.she has suffered more than one person should ever have to suffer,she never gives in,she always fights,and she is my friend.she always thinks of me,even when her own pain is nearly too much to bear.and YES,i am bloody crying as i write this. thankyou to my friend sybil for telling me about her,i havent been reading blogs much lately.please take a moment to pray for a lovely,caring lady,who is in pain.take care all. jane,you bloody well fight girl.you are in my thoughts.

PLEASE CAN I ASK YOUR HELP

A good friend on facebook,and from my old poker league has just been diagnosed with a very aggressive form of breast cancer. can i please ask those of you whose faith is greater than mine if you can pray for her?PAMELA A. i shall keep her surname private.because she is a private lady.i think for her to admit she has this most evil of diseases took more courage than anyone could imagine. i call her friend,although we will never meet.just as i will never meet any of you,my readers.but the internet knows no distance,or restrictions.nor do prayers.guido,if you read this,or anyone can help,can this be put on call for support as well please?you are in my thoughts pam.keep fighting.xxx

For myself i am in great discomfort,the bruising is still bad,both in groin,and wrist.but i have a walk to shop every morning,i cook dinner,do the housework,but i am also resting. thankyou all for your lovely comments and good wishes. and in advance for the prayers i know you will send for pamela. this is the reason i didnt go ahead and close my journal.when the chips are down,jland always looks after its own,take care all.

heart sore again.

i went into hospital at 7pm this last monday,pam took me up there,stayed in overnight,next morning i was woken at 5am and given breakfast,lol.then had a shower,and was taken to angio suite around 10.Dr.E.is a wonderful surgeon,he explained that he would go in through wrist,but that he wanted to do a pressure test on the heart,and was going into groin as well.i can honestly say it was the nastiest procedure i have ever endured.so bad that i actually accepted morphine.not often i need that kind of thing.anyway,he told me i actually had a blockage in the main artery and it could be treated in 2 ways.either bypass,at papworth hospital,or a stent.as he was already in the artery we decided stent.and in fact 2 were fitted.now if there is still angina,although the flow rate went from 73% before stent to 98% after,i shall have to have a bypass.the op.went well,after i was taken to coronary care,in a private room for 5 hours to recover.did manage to eat me roast turkey lunch,was nice too lol,had to keep wrist still as possible,after 4 hours the catheter i still had in groin was removed.and i was taken back to ward.next morning,after a very bad nights sleep i was discharged at 7.30mand pam picked me up.she came straight to the hospital from work,and i was home by 8.40.
so,all done and sorted? well,i knew i had a small haematoma,blood clot,under the skin in my groin.but at around 3 later that day i went to the loo,thought,cor that feels sore,looked and............it was huge.so i rang the cardiac nurses number at the hospital and explained i was a bit concerned.she said,so is it around the size,say of an acorn?ermmmm no,more like a very large hens egg.shape and thickness. deadly silence from other end. 2 minutes please. soon she was back,ok,i have spoken to the registrar,get up here now,as soon as you can,we need to see this.so,i had to get brian,mums friend to take me,pam being on nights i couldnt ask her again.30 plus miles.we got there at 6.i went up to cardiology and it was closed,but a nice nurse showed me to the cardiac ward.i showed the staff nurse the lump and she said,oh bloody hell.thats nasty.rang for a dr.i waited in day room,until a young medic came,he examined me on a spare bed,said,my registrar must see this,and went and got him.he carefully poked,prodded and generally had a good look,and said that it seemed to him that blood had pooled behind the catheter in artery,and it was this that was causing it.he was quite sure though that it would be ok,if any bleeding or if pain got worse i was to ring 999 at once.so we came home to a relieved mum.the wrist and groin have both given me hell.very painful,but today the swelling has subsiided.but the color. i am black in my groin and upper thigh.lot of discomfort.cant drive for a week,cant lift for a month.but i do feel better.lot of discomfort in heart but thats to be expected,and it is getting better.many,many thanks to all who left me so many lovely comments on facebook,to lucy for her mails,and to all who have been asking about me.
i go to pain management clinic in november about back,back up in december for consultation with dr E,and MS consultant in january.lol.may as well pitch a tent there i think.
I have asked for another carers assessment.i cant manage any more.ive tried,and tried.but mum is getting more and more forgetful and vague. luckily thanks to tracey and carol,and her friend chris,she coped the 2 nights i was away.but she wouldnt if i have to go in for a long time.and i need help.because im so tired.she cant help it bless her.and i wont let her go into a nursing home,but i do need further help at night now,and i am going to ask for it.im 56,i look 66,and feel 76.take care all.

electric blue

And anyone who recgonises the series of videos from the 80s,with the same title as this entry,SHAME ON YOU.lol.
On the following monday i sent my housing association a very long,detailed email,explaining all that had occurred,and that i was now left with no earth trip,which was A illegal,and B,extremely dangerous.and that it was THEIR house that would go up in flames if there was a serious electrical fault.that was at 12.15.at 1.10 my phone rung.housing association.claire,secretary to head of assets.normally complaints take 10 days to get sorted,but she had realised how serious the matter was and was seeing her boss at once.20 minutes later the phone rang again.the contractors.a very sheepish lady said,neil,our head electrician will be with you first thing in the morning,he will do a full test,and we will go from there.
At 8.20 the next morning neil arrived,pleasant,courteous,professional.he was horrified when i told him what the other electrician had done,and set about testing.it took him 5 hours to check every circuit.he found 4 things.the positive buzz bar was so loosely connected it had been arcing,and was the reason it later turned out the trip kept going out,fan in bathroom was set too fine,and noisy.light in bathroom was not up to regs.and the boiler wasnt earth bonded.he also changed circuits around,so every circuit is now protected by trip.oh,and yes,he replaced the trip.he refused to issue a certificate until the work was done,said he would order what was needed and left.the next morning he rung at 8,he had all the things,and was coming to do it.by 11 he was done,everything was checked.a true professional.i sent an email to claire asking for him to be commended and thanked for a job well done i may add.
over the next few days the lights flickered occasionally,then on the following monday,it was a wet and windy day,the overhead powerline was blowing about and as it did my lights flickered.bad.i had neils number and rang him,we both agreed it had to be the overheads causing the problem so i rung EDF,they sent out an engineer who got here after tea.it transpires my neighbour is on the same overhead,it goes to her main fuse first,then from a splitter to mine.and oh yes,her lights had been a bit flickery.shame you didnt tell me that when i asked you i thought.anyway,the engineer checked the fuses and connections and said he would order a linesman crew to come out the next day and check.and the next day 2 lorries turned up,up the pole they went and.............the neutral connector had split.corroded.and water was getting in,also the live was nearly as bad.15 minutes later,2 new connectors,job done.and the saga ends.no more problems.
This morning i had a phone call from my consultant,i go in to hospital the evening of october 5th,stay in overnight,op first thing tuesday 6th,will be in all day and overnight and released the next morning,hopefully angina free.it means i must now try and sort care for mum for 2 nights and days.and thats another story i fear.we shall see.
Lucy i am so sorry i havent been there for you,or jane,or anyone else.im just not reading blogs.and i apologise.take care all.

NEVER FORGOTTEN

NO WORDS I WRITE CAN DO JUSTICE TO THE AWFUL ATROCITY THAT OCCURED ON THIS DATE 8 YEARS AGO.TO MY FRIENDS IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,AND TO THE FAMILIES IN THE UK WHO ARE STILL DEVASTATED BY THIS MOST EVIL AND COWARDLY OF ATTACKS. YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS.AND IN THE MINDS AND HEARTS OF MILLIONS. take care all.

back again

sorry its been so long,somehow ive lost the desire to write,a lot is due to the MS which has been bad.mainly due to some hot weather we had.that was summer lol.autumn seems to be rushing towards us now,its turned a lot cooler.anyway,thursday i went to the heart clinic,now it was actually a follow up they do for patients who have had angioplasty surgery,as such the cardiac nurse hadnt read my notes.she just thought everything was sorted,until i explained i WAS still getting angina bad,was still using the nitro spray,so she then read,and said,he has put if you still get angina he will try an angioplasty using a special drug filled balloon,i shall put you on his waiting list,will soon be sorted,next.lol. so that was a waste of 70 miles travelling for what could have been done over the phone in 2 minutes,although i did have an ECG/blood pressure reading done.at least he will try and clear the artery,and hopefully i wont need bypass surgery.

The next day,friday i was off to Cromer hospital,small cottage hospital to see the orthopaedic triage.i had the MRI on my back done in june,i rung them 3 weeks after the scan,as i hadnt heard from them,and was told the triage would look at the scan and ring me back.then they rung to say she had looked,and i would be called back for another appointment with her and then..............nothing.i rung again,yes she would look at the scan and get back to me. ermmm i was told she HAD looked at it? oh?i will speak to her.week later i rung again.again i was told she had looked at it and i was "in the system" to be seen.then i finally got an appointment for friday. when i did get in to see her,she said,ive not even looked at scan,i havent been told you rung,nothing.lovely lol. anyway,we looked at the scan pics.together,and it can be clearly seen that i have yet another disc bulging and pressing on the nerve,hence the awful pain im getting.also showed some white patches,and she was rather quiet about those.i asked,those lesions? im not a nurologist she said,then looked at me.how many did you have last scan?4 or 5.ive now got around 9.oh well.thats another worry for a later date.in the meantime,i am going to try a course of steroid injections to relieve the inflammation,hopefully they will help,if not,and the pain is still as bad,surgey will be considered,and the verteba will be fused together.which sounds awful but she assures me i will still be able to bend,although a bit stiff,and that its an operation that carries a lot less risk than it used to.we will see.

now ive written before about the wonderful housing associations maintenance team,my bathroom door still a apainful memory.for the last 3 weeks my lights flicker,the power goes down,my fan motor slows,obvious there was a problem.an electrician ( ahem) came out,checked the connections to the main trip in the consumer unit,found they were so loose he had to turn the screw 5 times to tighten it, and that was it,until.................the trip went off in the middle of the night.no clock,good job it was weekend and tracey wasnt coming early.so he came out and changed the trip. 3 days later same thing happened. so they sent a surveyor round.he wanted a special test done on all the circuits before calling out the board,it could be the overhead cables at fault,and lo,the next day the same electrician came out.did he test?? nooooo.he did cure the trip going oiut though, in a most radical,and im sure efficient way.he took it out.removed it.rewired the unit so now...............ive got no protection if there is a serious fault.that was thursday,he said he would report the overhead cables at fault.now,i am going to write on monday a most long and interesting email to the head of housing,explaining the test wants carried out as ordered,that i am not protected,that this is illegal,and ...........WILL THEY BLOODY WELL SORT IT.NOW.i rather think that contract firm will NOT be doing repairs when the current contract ends next year.they are useless.

finally,welcome back to pamal3.those of you who followed her blog will be as delighted as i am she has finally graced us with her presence again.even if she dont write,she dont call,she just swans off without a word,i dunno,dont she realise that i wor..........ahem.sorry pam.lol.you knew youd suffer.im glad my friend is back.Almost 40! sorry i havent been around for you lucy,or you jane,but i have read your blogs and am up to date now.take care all.

a few pics to lighten the gloom

good butterfly year,this is only one of about 3 red admirals ive seen though

painted lady with a peacock butterfly on the buddleia davidii "black knight"

self sown sunflower,lol.bird feeders were above it.its full of hover flies in centre

my white hollyhock,quite pleased with this shot

that new boarder i did at start of season has just bloomed and bloomed.

taken few weeks ago,most have gone over now and been removed.did well though

been lovely to see,fuschias were from last year,shant keep them as they show signs of fireblight

my pink water lilly.unfortunately the white one didnt flower this year,i didnt know that water lillies hate moving water until last year,the pump has been turned off to allow them to flower

taken a 1.30 am,in the middle of june.didnt really get dark.nights pulling in fast now though

taken at 10 pm came out pretty well.

feeding frenzy i get every morning when i throw the old cat food sooty has left out.glad you cant hear all the noise lol

greedy devils

well,hope everyone is having a good summer.it is going away fast,soon autumn will be here.nasty thought.i am pleased jane has posted,bless her heart.there is a fighter.take care all,enjoy your gardens and the hot weather.

heart sore

firstly,and with deep sorrow,can i please ask you all to visit janes blog,A journey of another kind....: Jane's Journey - The final leg. ive just read this entry and im in tears.you will see why.jane,ive been reading your fight against terminal cancer now for a long time.you keep fighting sweety.xxxx
I went in tuesday for the stents to be fitted.Pam dropped me off at the hospital,and i was on the ward at 11.10.i had to wait for nearly 30 minutes for a bed to become free,when it did it was near the window,and boy was i glad later at night.very stuffy and close day.they were very busy,but the staff were very courteous as always.i finally got taken down to the angio suite at 1.30.finally went through at 2,got up on table,connected up to ECG,when.........the surgeon came over and said,morton,i am so sorry,we have a 999 emergency call coming in,73 yr old lady suffering a heart attack,i oromise you will be seen to directly after we see to her. so i was unplugged,taken back to the recovery bay and waited.like me back in december she was rushed into the angio suite,and a well oiled machine swung into action.lol.bless her,she had 3 stents fitted,and was sitting up in bed later that night enjoying a cuppa.
So.i finally got back on the table at 4pm.2 surgeons,5 technicians,millions of pounds worth of scanners at work. one surgeon left at 5 ish,the other kept on trying to get a stent in but to no avail.the fact is he couldnt fit the stents,instead i had an angioplast on 1 artery,a balloon is inserted and the artery is "squashed"on the inside,making the artery wider.the other artery was just too narrow.apparently it goes into a sharp bend,then narrows like a chicane on a racing circuit,and it was just too tight a curve for him to get anything through.he told me there is a special balloon he will order that may work if i still continue to have trouble.and if that doesn't work,well it means Papworth hospital,bypass operation.finally,i was taken back to my ward at 7pm.missed me tea lol.bless the ward sister for the sandwich she had kept me.
Now,i had shaved the left side of my groin for the catheter to be inserted.the surgeon decided he wanted the right side shaved as well,in case he needed to go in that artery.so,i now got 2 nice smooth areas,all ready and............he went in through my right wrist.lol.i had to be connected to a pump that slowly fed a blood thinning drug through my vein for 12 hours,i was allowed up at 10.30 to use toilet,still connected to machine which i had to push in front of me.now,this was ok except,it squeaked as i pushed it,so at 4am,bearing in mind i couldnt get to sleep and raj,the absolutely fantastic night nurse in charge had made me 2 cups of tea and biccys,and the fact i hadnt taken the nasal spray to stop me needing loo,there was me going squeak,squeak,squeak,toilet door opens,squeak,door closes.silence.flushing noise.door opens squeak,squeak,oh i was popular.lol.
the pump was removed at 7,canular removed and after a quick breakfast i was sitting in dayroom.pam picked me up at 9 and i walked in my door around 10.15.
felt really sore,achy and tired today.yesterday i was ok,but i am now bruised everywhere,so i think it is delayed reaction.i am still getting a bit of angina,though it may be due to the op.anyway,i go and see him in 6 weeks time,where we will discuss what happens next.i really do not want a lot of bypass surgery if it can be avoided,but i shall be led by the consultant.
i am sorry,i just haven't felt like reading blogs,only tonight have i read a few,the MS has been playing up as it always does when i am stressed or tired.for some reason blogger has decided i am persona non grata at the moment,i got a message saying my network was sending messages to blogspot and i was banned until further notice.huh???i did see that several bloggers had had the same message,so we will see.i got on here to do this entry via dashboard.i have some great pics to share for the next time,but for now,take care all.many thanks for all the lovely messages on facebook,yearbook,tagged and emails.mort

update

i cant even think of a witty title.says a lot how things are at the moment.not been feeling well,MS playing games,mum not too good,arthritis bad.just thought i would post as i have the pre-op assessment for stents tomorrow,and i will have the angioplast next tuesday,4th of august.2 stents will be fitted.hopefully this will cure the angina.also i am still waiting for an appointment with a consultant about back.it has been so painful now for ages,i hadn't heard results of MRI scan i had on it,so rung the triage.she hadn't had the results back,which as it had been 6 weeks or more was a bit stupid,she rang me later,said she had got hold of the scan and it showed that there was a problem and i did need to see a consultant,and she was going to sort it.that is 3 weeks ago,still waiting.
i will know tomorrow if i do have to be in hospital overnight,rather sure i will,as appointment is at 11.00am.at least i do have carers sorted to look in on mum.take care all.

LEST WE FORGET

REMEMBERING ALL THE VICTIMS OF TERROR,NOT JUST HERE IN THE UK,IN THE UNITED STATES,EUROPE,WHEREVER EVIL PEOPLE BOMB AND KILL AND MAIM INNOCENT MEN,WOMEN AND CHILDREN. may one day peace and justice prevail,there has been far too much suffering caused in the name of religion,intolerance and hatred.one day.take care all.

Grateful thanks to Jeannette of Outside - Looking In - Jeannette's Jottings for the tag.

HAPPY 4th OF JULY

WISHING ALL MY AMERICAN READERS AND FRIENDS,A REALLY GREAT WEEKEND.thanks for all the kind comments and your friendship you have shown me.take care all

dis-heartened.

i had to go and see my heart consultant today,11am.i was there at 10.35,finally went in to see him at 11.45.running late as usual.nice man,made me feel at ease...........before clobbering me with the news that he had reviewed the pictures of the recent angio i had,and that there are 2 arteries that need attention,more than the tablets i am on will cure,which is why i am still getting angina when i do too much.( not that i do before you write lucy,lol.i hear your keyboard tapping as i write this,x)also,and more worrying,i take an ant-acid for hiatus hernia,and because i am on aspirin and heart meds.i have to change it.quick.apparently it has been proven to cause clots in stents fitted.oh gee,thanks doc.gets better lol. anyway,he said,look,i think you need to have this sorted,do you want to go ahead?well,duhhhhhh,lol.of course.if it will stop the pain and discomfort,if it will stop another heart attack,then yes.he has said it should be about 6 weeks,so fingers crossed. mum took the news suspiciously calmly,i am not sure she actually understands.i now have to sort carers out to look after her,i shall only be in hospital for a day.at least i presume so,full details will be sent to me,and i have to have a pre-op assessment first.hope everyone is ok,thanks for messages,thanks lucy for being there,thanks carol for the lap dance lol.( she didddddd,shame was a facebook application lol) and guido for being a good and kind person.take care all,i shall post some pics when i download them soon,enjoy this lovely weather.mort

garden pics june 2009

the clematis is soon over.2 weeks of glorious colour,then leaves lol

philadelphus virginata,smells gorgeous.honeysuckle is self sown.

new colour in double petunia.in hanging basket

nicw fuschia,kept from last year which cost all of 50p.lol

petunias.these are lovely this year

baskets are looking good.fed every week,watered every day.

we get dozens of seagulls.took this after 15 shots of the bloody hedge,lol.they fast

new duck this year,donald n his mate are still here every day.shame because i thought they had stopped and cleaned the fish pond out 3 weeks ago.wrong.

clematis 'nelly moser' is years old.i bought it from the old house 17 years ago.

the new arch is quickly becoming covered

hardy geranium

peony 'pink sorbet' this is the only one thats flowered out of 3 plants

oriental poppies

my old peony.lovely colour.hope you enjoyed them.

THANKYOU ALL FOR THE LOVELY COMMENTS.i shan't be deleting this blog.too much work and a few tears went into it.won't be posting very often,and i can't still comment on many blogs i read,but i shall be about.just got too much to keep posting.the MS is playing up bad,for last 3 nights i have been woken by jerking in legs and arms,swallowing is bad,and pain is bloody awful. had the MRI scan on back,will get results within 2 weeks.take care all.mort.

last post?

THANKS TO NAT,London Calling

THANKS TO LUCY,MY SECOND MOM,What is left of a whole new life
thanks to nat and lucy.2 more awards.im sorry but they are likely to be the last this blog ever gets.this is the end of my blogging,i can no longer carry on.its been more of a chore than a pleasure for some time,the MS seems to have made me unable to concentrate.i just dont feel up to carrying on with this any more.normally i would have written about mums visit to the chiropodists,remember her gout?cleared up.but 2 weeks ago she had an appointment to see the chiropodist,a new man we had never had before,first he kept us waiting 20 minutes over our time then.................he cut mums bad toe.pratt.she came out with a bandage on it as though it was a finger puppet.luckily it cleared up.im having an MRI scan tomorrow at 7.50am on back,finally.so early start.many more things i would normally share.but i cant seem to get myself motivated.sorry for not commenting on many blogs,still have problems with a loop that appears when i try.

so why?i used to enjoy my journal,when jland died i said it didnt matter,that WE are jland,that it wouldnt make any difference.i was wrong. many of the old aol jland journal writers moved to blogspot,and many have left.maybe facebook,tagged,my space.etc.some on twitter,more just let their blogs fade away.fed up with it.jeannette,jan rarely posts now,yasmin,pamal,all gone.and now im doing the same.thanks to lucy for worrying about me,we shall keep in touch,thanks to all my followers,thanks to anon, for being a class A,grade one ass wipe.you made my year lol.i may leave this here,i may delete.in the future i may start again.the MS is getting worse,not really bad,but enough.and mum,well she is happy,contented,in pain but cared for.and on that note,for the last time,TAKE CARE ALL.THANKS,MORTON.its a pleasure to know you all,see you on facebook.and pictures will be added to my profile on face when i download some more,so please look for them.goodbye.